Babylon Mom: How I Found More 'Me Time' After CPS Got Involved
Opinion ยท Oct 10, 2020 ยท

Hey everyone, sorry it's been a while since I've updated this blog. It's just been crazy around here!

Ladies, I'm going to say it again because it can never be said enough:


Just to be clear, I really do mean time for myself. I don't particularly care how you spend your time. You can kick rocks.

I really just think that, as a mom, it is so important for me to spend time focused on whatever I feel like doing, even if it means my kids aren't always going to get things like "attention" or "food" or "water" or "a diaper change this week."

Those things might sound "good", or even "necessary for basic survival". And I'm sure there are plenty of strict helicopter moms who see it that way, but the truth is… How can I claim to take care of my family if I'm not able to take care of my extravagant and unnecessary indulgences?

I'm going to take a moment to be vulnerable here: When CPS showed up at my door again last week, I was tempted to take it as a personal blow.

"Am I a terrible mother?" I asked myself. "Is this because I showed up completely wasted to all of Ampersand-Lynn's volleyball games? Should I have not left two-year-old Hydroxychloroquine in our Ford Excursion with the engine running for three hours during my tanning appointment? Maybe I shouldn't have stopped at that Home Goods sale on my way to taking Bhrahdley to the ER when he had that life-threatening brain injury."

I mean, I have to tell you girls, I was full of so much self-doubt. If it hadn't been for my daily spa appointment that was scheduled for 20 minutes after my children were taken into protective custody, I might never have pulled out of that dark place in my mind. Thankfully, a deep-tissue massage and pedicure really helped me to see the situation from a new perspective.

Let me be the first to tell you: I am not a perfect mom. My children, husband, and social worker will all agree with me on this.

I am not perfect. And that's okay.

Every so-called "bad" situation is really just an opportunity for something good. Because of this situation, there are some foster parents now getting paid to spend the time with my kids that I never seemed to find. Because of this situation, a social worker is that much closer to meeting whatever arbitrary quota they have. And because of this situation, I have time to binge-watch Married At First Sight while downing a 12-pack of White Claw.

I have more time for myself. And I just know that will be the thing that finally makes me happy!

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