WILMINGTON, DE—To commemorate the "completely fair and honest" 2020 election, Joe Biden has announced a brand new memoir called If I Rigged It. The book is already being met with critical acclaim for its compelling description of a totally hypothetical situation where Biden and the Democrats fraudulently steal the election.
"Listen here, Jack-- I didn't steal the election," said Biden to a group of adoring fans in the press. "But if I had stolen the election, this is how I would have done it. It's real simple, see? My new book will give you all the dirty details!"
"This book is a masterpiece," said The New York Times. "Biden, who totally wrote this all by himself, draws the reader in with a compelling narrative of a totally hypothetical story. His prose is artful and engaging. The description of an effort to steal the 2020 election is way more believable and interesting than Trump's baseless claims. In short, Biden is a genius."
The book has soared to the top of the New York Times bestseller list in its first week since release. Experts predict it may become the best-selling book of 2021.
Critics have called the book "a highly suspicious work that reads more like an actual confession than a memoir." Trusted media outlets, fact-checkers, and social media have all dismissed these criticisms as "baseless."
If I Rigged It is currently being sold in hardcover for $29.99 and will be available at Amazon.com or wherever books are sold.