Politics
Bernie Sanders Welcomed As Newest Member Of Alt-Right After Joe Rogan Endorsement

U.S.—The massive alt-right movement welcomed their newest celebrity member this week as Alt-Right Chief of Gender Discrimination Joe Rogan said he would probably vote for Bernie Sanders for president.

Sanders is the latest celebrity to join the alt-right. All it takes to join the alt-right is to talk to somebody in the alt-right, and then you're officially in. Other recent recruits include Vince Vaughn, who talked to Alt-Right President Donald Trump, and Chris Pratt, who wore a Don't Tread on Me shirt and drank out of a non-reusable plastic bottle.

"We are extremely happy to have Bernie aboard," said the alt-right's founder, Bob Altright. "This just goes to show that if people listen to our racist ideas, they will eventually come around."

Other alt-right officials, such as Dave Rubin and Dave Chappelle, expressed similar enthusiasm over Bernie's newfound alt-right status.

"See? When we allow civil discourse and the free exchange of ideas, even communists can become Nazis like me," Rubin said on his show, which is mandatory viewing for dues-paying alt-right members. "Join me in welcoming Bernie to the Nazi-adjacent fold."

Alex Jones was unavailable for comment as he was driving a tank around shouting into a megaphone about gay frogs.

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