Politics
Bernie Sanders Supporters Defend How He Always Wears A Top Hat And Monocle And Carries Around Bags With Dollar Signs On Them

U.S.—Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has come under attack for hypocrisy. One common line of attack is that while he claims to be a socialist who is always looking out for the interests of the working man, Sanders is constantly seen wearing a top hat and monocle while carrying around canvas sacks with dollar signs on them. His supporters have been quick to defend him, though.

“The implication is that somehow him having a top hat and a monocle and him carrying around sacks with dollar signs on them while yelling, ‘Get away from me, poors!’ is inconsistent with him being a socialist,” said Sanders supporter Neil Bishop, “but it’s not. The fact is, you can buy a top hat, monocle, and canvas sacks for just a few hundred dollars. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Sanders campaign worker Harry Simon agreed. “Just because he’s a socialist doesn’t mean he can’t wear a tall hat or walk around with gobs of cash in bags,” Simon explained. “Also, for someone of his age at his salary, it’s not uncommon to own a number of hats and maybe a monocle. And even if those bags are all filled with cash, it’s only a million in there at most which, frankly, isn’t that much money these days.”

Sanders himself had no comment other than to light a cigar with a hundred dollar bill and hit a servant with his cane for making eye contact with him, two more actions his supporters were quick to point out weren’t that unusual.

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