Backup Dancers Say They Are Tired Of Living In Lizzo's Shadow
Celebs · Aug 5, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. — After years of being totally obscured by Lizzo's shadow, her backup dancers have finally had enough.

"I'm out there dancing and it's literally pitch black," said dancer Mariah Minor. "It's like a total solar eclipse back there."

The backup dancers' existence was suddenly revealed to the world by a lawsuit alleging horrific abuse by the singer. "Look, I get it. Lizzo is the star and everyone is in her orbit," said dancer Kimberly Justice. "That gives her no right to swallow up people's careers like this. We've got to tilt the scales back to the little people who get lost in the background."

According to sources, most fans were completely unaware Lizzo even had backup dancers. "Really? They've been back there this whole time?" asked Lizzo fan Savannah Richardson. "Huh. I had no idea. I always thought it was just her up there. Lizzo just has that ability to pull everything towards her, I suppose."

At publishing time, Lizzo's publicist called on critics to back off, stating that, Lizzo had "a lot on her plate right now."


Their culture is not your costume. DO NOT appropriate ghost, zombie, or vampire culture this Halloween.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Comments

There are 121 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.