LOS ANGELES, CA — In yet another inspiring act of heroic bravery, the Avengers assembled in a Zoom call to save the world by endorsing their preferred candidate Thanos.
Surrogates for the Thanos campaign confirmed they organized the call as a part of the "get out the vote" campaign for the mass-murdering Titanian warlord.
"I was initially skeptical about endorsing Thanos, but then I heard him describe his plan to 'snap' millions of unborn babies out of existence," said a pale and unusually flabby Dr. Bruce Banner to his fellow Avengers. "That would be a huge win for women's rights."
Captain America also enthusiastically endorsed the candidate. "I especially like his plan to censor dangerous misinformation online and take away assault weapons using his Power Stone and his Reality Stone," he said. "There's nothing more American than that, right, guys?"
The Zoom call continued with ringing Thanos endorsements from Iron Man, Black Widow, War Machine, Vision, and a black lady who is probably an important part of the team somehow.
At publishing time, polls taken after the Zoom call showed Thanos dropping another 3 percentage points in the polls.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
