You wake up in the middle of the night to discover a toddler has silently been staring at you for the last hour. Is it your normal child... or is it a demon? Parents have struggled with this question for thousands of years. That's why we've consulted the brightest toddler scientists to answer the age-old question: is your kid demon-possessed or just a typical toddler?
Normal Toddler: Their head spins clockwise like a top as they projectile vomit across the room.
Demon-Possessed: Head spins counterclockwise.
Normal Toddler: Screams in an unintelligible language while writhing on the floor.
Demon-Possessed: Same, but sounds kind of Latin.
Normal Toddler: Levitates when denied screen time.
Demon-Possessed: Levitates when denied chance to watch The View.
Normal Toddler: Masquerades in front of others as angel of light.
Demon-Possessed: Same.
Normal Toddler: Yells any known obscenities in church or other holy places
Demon-Possessed: Can also yell obscenities in French!
Normal Toddler: Tempts you to drink.
Demon-Possessed: Just made you an Old Fashioned.
Normal Toddler: Can speak perfect Latin (home-schooled).
Demon-Possessed: Can speak perfect Latin (but not home-schooled).
Normal Toddler: Leaves footprints on the ceiling, somehow.
Demon-Possessed: Walks on ceiling but no footprints.
Normal Toddler: Loves Bluey.
Demon-Possessed: Hates Bluey. (SEEK EXORCIST IMMEDIATELY)
Wow! Pretty hard to tell apart. We think we'll go home and put on some Bluey.
These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.
