Apostle Paul Criticized For 'Gentile Lives Matter' Shirt
Church · Oct 4, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

ROME — Jewish religious leaders have taken issue with the Apostle Paul's continuing to preach Jesus as Messiah to Gentile regions, which the Jewish religious leaders have condemned. Things came to head when the controversial figure donned a "Gentile Lives Matter" shirt this week, prompting further outrage.

"This dangerously irresponsible ‘Gentile Lives Matter' shirt is clear evidence that Paul believes in Gentile supremacy!" said noted authority on Jewish law Gamaliel to a council of leaders. "Gentiles have spent decades constructing systems designed to oppress the Jewish people, and Paul's shirt betrays a tone-deafness and insensitivity to the struggles of our marginalized community!"

Gamaliel went on to compare Paul and Jonah, the latter of whom Gamaliel explained had a better approach to spreading messages of forgiveness and inclusion to Gentiles. "Jonah's fleeing from telling the Ninevites to repent was a better approach – acceptance from God can't be for everyone, there isn't enough to go around!"

Critics of Gamaliel say they are grateful for Paul's leadership and want the message of Jesus to reach more people, including Gentiles. The Apostle Peter concurred, testifying that the Holy Spirit fell upon Cornelius and other Gentiles, and elaborating that "God shows no partiality, but in every nation, anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him." Gamaliel and James have confirmed plans to send representatives to prevent Peter from continuing to eat and fellowship with Gentiles, saying "Look, all these years we have served God and not disobeyed his orders – why then should Gentiles who have been out sinning be accepted?"

At publishing time, the Apostle Peter was also criticized after being seen in an "All Lives Matter" tunic.

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