Always Appeals To Men With Pads Featuring Pictures Of Monster Trucks, Pro Wrestlers
Worldviews · Oct 22, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

CINCINNATI, OH - Always is appealing to the company's male customers with its new "Always Macho" series of menstrual products.

The pads and tampons' packaging will feature pictures of monster trucks crushing each other, AR-15s, and John Cena dropkicking people.

"We want to welcome all people who menstruate, whether you are a cisgender woman, a transgender man, or a dude who really likes monster trucks," said a Procter & Gamble representative. "And you can't go wrong with monster trucks. Monster trucks are big. Monster trucks are cool. Monster trucks go boom."

Various pictures on the products include the following:

  • A nuclear weapon decimating a city
  • Bacon
  • A 1978 Trans Am with fire coming out of the pipes
  • Aragorn chopping off an Orc's head
  • A T-rex with Gatling guns for arms
  • Batman

Though the product was initially targeted at people who menstruate but don't necessarily identify as a woman, the company is discovering that men who are forced to buy their wives' menstrual products prefer the packaging as well. 

"Men are able to go to the check stand and hold their head high, proud to pick up a product with Cena elbow-dropping some fool or a bazooka blowing something up," said the rep. "You're welcome, men."

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