Home > Worldviews > Always Appeals To Men With Pads Featuring Pictures Of Monster Trucks, Pro ...
Worldviews
Always Appeals To Men With Pads Featuring Pictures Of Monster Trucks, Pro Wrestlers

CINCINNATI, OH—Always is appealing to the company's male customers with its new "Always Macho" series of menstrual products.

The pads and tampons' packaging will feature pictures of monster trucks crushing each other, AR-15s, and John Cena dropkicking people.

"We want to welcome all people who menstruate, whether you are a cisgender woman, a transgender man, or a dude who really likes monster trucks," said a Procter & Gamble representative. "And you can't go wrong with monster trucks. Monster trucks are big. Monster trucks are cool. Monster trucks go boom."

Various pictures on the products include the following:

  • A nuclear weapon decimating a city
  • Bacon
  • A 1978 Trans Am with fire coming out of the pipes
  • Aragorn chopping off an Orc's head
  • A T-rex with Gatling guns for arms
  • Batman

Though the product was initially targeted at people who menstruate but don't necessarily identify as a woman, the company is discovering that men who are forced to buy their wives' menstrual products prefer the packaging as well. 

"Men are able to go to the check stand and hold their head high, proud to pick up a product with Cena elbow-dropping some fool or a bazooka blowing something up," said the rep. "You're welcome, men."

Readers of the Bee,

If you value The Babylon Bee and want to see us prevail against Snopes and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support really will make a difference.