WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez spent a few minutes on Twitter lamenting the price of a croissant at an airport, linking it to the need for a higher minimum wage for some reason, an independent degree quality control board issued an emergency recall on her economics degree.
Basic Economic Understanding Bureau officials burst into the congresswoman's office and confiscated her economics degree early Tuesday morning "for the safety of the nation." They found it hanging on the wall next to a hammer & sickle flag. They tore it down and returned it to Boston University for safekeeping.
"We received distress calls from millions of concerned Americans," one BEUB official said. "We pulled up Representative Ocasio-Cortez's Twitter account, and sure enough, she compared the price of a croissant with the price of an hour of human labor. She seemed to have no understanding of the underlying facts."
"We get lots of calls like this for economics degrees from Boston University, but we can usually resolve the issue without resorting to confiscation. So it just goes to show that this was definitely a 911 situation we have here," he added sternly.
While officials were not allowed to detain Ocasio-Cortez herself for a recall and were forced to release her after questioning, they recommended she read Basic Economics by Thomas Sowell or Economics in One Lesson by Henry Hazlitt to aid her in her recovery.