CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – After yet another delay, NASA is halting immediate plans to pursue an Artemis I launch and will scrap the program altogether and fake another moon landing instead.
Future launch periods began to look uncertain, so the team decided that faking another moon landing is superior to continuing to plan and then postpone launches.
"This is just cheaper," said Jim Free, associate administrator for NASA's vaunted Exploration Systems division. "No one will be able to tell the difference anyway. The tech has gotten much better since the last time we faked a moon landing. It's not even close."
Free said the new plan will give his team a much-needed break. "With CGI and other technological leaps we've made since 1969, we basically don't have to do anything. This is much easier, and I've been saying we should do it this way for months."
NASA administrator Bill Nelson added that the team has gotten lots of practice at faking things ever since Biden came into office. "Those speeches where he sounds coherent and not senile?" said Nelson. "One thousand percent us. And let me tell you, those are a lot harder to fake than any moon landing. This is off the record, right?"
The fake landing is scheduled for November 14th in Burbank, California.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
