LAS VEGAS, NV — What was thought of up until recently as a promising college football coaching career took a sad turn this week, as after being charged with multiple felonies, former University of Michigan coach Sherrone Moore was forced to move to the NFL.
Moore, who was fired as head coach at Michigan following serious allegations regarding offers he made to an online adult entertainment model, reportedly arrived in Las Vegas to meet with the Raiders regarding a position on the team's coaching staff after coming to the realization that his potential criminal record left the NFL as his only remaining career path.
"I wish it hadn't come to this," Moore told reporters as he arrived at the Las Vegas airport. "I've made a mess of my football coaching career, so I have no choice but to go to the NFL with the rest of the criminals and reprobates. I don't belong in civilized society at this point. I deserve to face consequences for my actions. That's why I'm hoping to join the Raiders."
Football experts agreed that the NFL was the logical next step for someone like Moore. "This is where violent members of society and sexual deviants eventually find themselves," one analyst said. "After what Sherrone Moore did at Michigan, it really got the attention of multiple NFL teams. He's exactly what they look for."
At publishing time, sources said that several other teams had contacted Moore in hopes of adding another lawless miscreant to their organizations.
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