PARIS — Angry over the deep societal rot caused by socialist policies, millions of French people took to the streets to demand even more socialism.
The standard of living in France has declined precipitously as the government's socialist policies led to decaying services, punishing taxes, a bankrupt government, and historically low productivity. With mass migration pushing the festering problems of socialism over the brink, French protesters called for an increase in socialism.
"The government has completely and totally failed us. The only solution is more government," said protester Luc Moreau. "If the government controlled my life, I wouldn't be out here looting a Luis Vuitton store, would I? My burning down this store is yet another failure of our socialist government. If only things were super-duper socialist, everything would be wonderful, and I wouldn't be throwing this brick at an old lady."
The protesters consciously tailored their strategies to most effectively communicate their demands. "We want more money invested in schools, so we burned down the old ones," explained local man Phillipe Durand. "The government should have more money to spend on us, so we quit working. In fact, we are prepared to never work again to show just how serious we are about the government taking care of us. Until socialism has taken over completely, we will not stop showing the world the failures of socialism."
At publishing time, protesters had burned down 1,400 local businesses to protest the lack of available jobs.
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