You may think you need to pay a college $150,000 to do the essential job of brainwashing your kid, but thankfully, there are other ways to skin a cat!
Here are some things you can do with all that money instead:
- Buy a Disney+ subscription: Disney+ offers pretty much the same brainwashing benefits of a college education but it also has Star Wars.
- Give them a smartphone and just walk away: Their brains will be mush within hours.
- Pay a transgender feminist Communist with pink hair to live in your home for 4 years and undermine everything you say: Throw in a little extra and you've got yourself an okay housekeeper. Two birds with one stone!
- Fly your kids out to Russia for a totally legal lobotomy from Dr. Dimitri Kozlov: No one butchers a brain like ole' Dimitri! Except for maybe Harvard.
- Read the collected works of Ibram X. Kendi: In order to raise antiracists, you'll have to become racist. Don't try to make sense of it.
- Build a paper mâché statue of George Floyd: This is all college students do now anyway. And due to inflation, the materials now cost 150k!
- Volunteer them for CIA mind control experiments: Only a 43% survival rate but it's free!
- Move to Portland: Unfortunately, 150k isn't going to buy you a house. But you'll be able to rent a really terrific room. Very cozy.
- Pay the one-hour consulting fee for Robin DiAngelo to speak at your home: Oops! Her fee just went up! never mind.
- Abandon your children and flee to Tahiti: They're the state's problem now.
NOT SATIRE: Racist. Bigot. Sexist. Transphobic. Have you ever been called these things while sticking up for America? The left will stop at nothing to silence conservative viewpoints on college campuses, online, in the workplace, and in the public square. It's no wonder conservatives often struggle to share their principles in today's heated public discourse.
That's why the Leadership Institute is sharing its Campus Reform Talking Points Guide with conservatives across the country. Would you like to receive a free copy today?
This Guide helps conservatives like you hone winning arguments and thoughtful responses to 14 hot-button issues, including freedom of speech, socialism, illegal immigration, and "micro-aggressions."
With the essential tips in this Guide, you can effectively share your principles with peers, co-workers, friends, and family.
The Leadership Institute trains conservative leaders for America. Campus Reform is a project of the Leadership Institute.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!