A super spy descended from the ceiling and stole the Supreme Court's majority opinion that would overturn Roe v Wade and leaked it to the press. Dozens of people across the nation are furious because this will "ruin my weekend murder plans!"

Here are just a few of the terrifying consequences of Roe being overturned:

1) You'll carry your child to term and have the miraculous, joyful, and beautiful experience of giving birth while your life is enriched and filled with meaning: UUUGGGHHH!

2) All women will be issued handmaid's tale outfits and then it will be really hard to find your wife at the mall: Super inconvenient!

3) Women with life-threatening pregnancy complications will be hunted for sport: And only at exclusive country clubs that don't allow minorities. So backward!

4) Professional hitmen will only be able to knock off children in certain states: It's hard enough having an illegal job. Hopefully, Congress can step in with a stimulus check.

5) Planned Parenthood workers will have to find somewhere to stab people in the head on their own time: OJ probably knows a good spot.

6) Pregnant men will be forced to give birth: Gross!

7) More minorities will be born: Poor Bill Gates!

8) Hordes of unwanted babies will roam the streets, terrorizing America's cities and creating a post-apocalyptic hell-scape: They will enslave us all with their cuteness!

9) Democrats will all simultaneously remember what a 'woman' is: This could set LGBT rights back by days!

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.