9 Signs Your Wife Is A Little Too Excited About Christmas
Sponsored · Nov 8, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by: RevelationMedia

It's that time of year once again…but is it really? With stores putting out their Christmas decorations earlier and earlier every year, it's easy for some people to get swept up in the yuletide cheer way too much and way too soon. Wives, we have noticed, seem particularly susceptible. Here are nine warning signs that your wife is a little too excited about Christmas:

  1. She pressed play on Mariah Carey's Christmas album at 12:01 a.m. on November 1st: And she hasn't hit pause yet.
  2. Your third kid's name is Prancer: And she already has six more names picked out.
  3. Hallmark is on the phone requesting to film a Christmas movie at your house: They also called in September. And July.
  4. She just snorted a line of cinnamon off the counter: That one is kind of impressive, to be honest.
  5. The mall was closed so she took the children to skid row to sit on the lap of a hobo who kind of looks like Santa: And the hobo really only bore a faint resemblance to Saint Nick.
  6. The first dance at your wedding was to "Here Comes Santa Claus": She also danced with her dad to "Petit Papa Noel".
  7. All of your kids were born 40 weeks after Christmas: Oh look, yet another September 16th birthday!
  8. Trick or treaters had to maneuver around a giant inflatable Santa Claus and Nativity scene: She may have a problem.
  9. Your plastic Baby Jesus just melted in the summer heat: Oh no!!

If your wife exhibits any of the signs listed above, prepare for an early Christmas!

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By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?

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