9 Signs You Were The Bad Guy In World War II
History · Sep 4, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

History is a complicated subject and, as such, it's difficult to say who the true "bad guy" of World War II was. Was it the fat British man with a penchant for smoking cigars? Was it the guy that looked like Charlie Chaplin? Was it.... the Jews?


If you find yourself confused, simply reference this handy list of "bad guy" characteristics to help sort out who was really the bad guy:

  1. Built ovens for human beings: Very subtle, but slightly correlated with being bad.

  2. Put hundreds of thousands of human beings into those ovens: Okay, for sure bad.

  3. Leader combed his hair like Academy Award nominee Elliot Page: Not good.

  4. Murdered disabled people to promote racial strength: A telltale sign of badness.

  5. Drove a Volkswagen: There are other cars, SATAN.

  6. Even Stalin thought they took things a little too far: If Stalin thinks you've gone overboard, you've probably gone overboard.

  7. Injected a bunch of kids with poison as a fun experiment: As a rule, not a good thing to do.

  8. Committed mass genocide with the goal of wiping out the Jewish people: Although Hamas wants that too, and we've been told they're pretty great.

  9. Candace Owens thinks you're just swell: Okay, that clinches it.


After tabulating the results, it appears that Adolf Hitler is the real villain of World War II and not Winston Churchill. Shocking!


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