The Babylon Bee Presents: 9 Rules Of Gun Safety

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Tired of killing people by accident because you're trying to show off your cool gun? We know how inconvenient that can be. That's why we are huge advocates of common-sense gun safety.

Be sure to follow these gun safety rules to the letter:

1) Never put your finger on the trigger: Are you crazy?! You could kill somebody!

2) Never point your gun at the Director of Photography when rehearsing a movie scene: (Alec Baldwin only)

3) Make sure the target has a name in red above them: If they're on your team you'll get kicked from the server for friendly fire.

4) Audibly say "pew" while shooting to warn others: PEW PEW PEW! 

5) Holding the gun sideways for maximum accuracy: It will also add +5 damage.

6) Never sneak up on people at the range and shout "HOOBAJOOBA!" while jumping out in front of the muzzle of their weapon: That's just rude! 

7) Spin the gun around with your finger like a cowboy when placing it in your holster: It will deter bad guys.

8) Never carry your gun across state lines: THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO!

9) Bring a second, smaller gun in case anyone tries to steal your regular gun: And possibly a third even smaller gun. For safety.


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