The economy is in the toilet! What will you do? Relax! This is nothing to worry about. We're all just transitioning to a brighter future together!
Here are 9 reasons not to worry about the tanking economy:
- Biden and Kamala have totally got this: Never has there ever been a more brilliant pair of politicians than Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. They have something up their sleeve to save us all! ...Right?
- $4 gas won't be a problem once you've been forced to buy a $100,000 electric car: The Great Green Transition is underway!
- Money isn't real anyway: Relaaaaxxxx!
- You're probably fat and could use a few weeks without food: The economy is doing you a favor, fattie!
- You can sleep easy at night knowing Ukraine just got another $12B in weapons: You don't want Putin to murder democracy, do you?
- It's worth it if the tanking economy saves just one climate: Open your heart to rescuing a climate today.
- The Middle Ages weren't that bad: They owned nothing. And they were happy. For their entire 20-year lives.
- Finally, you can get the last laugh on those jerks who invested in the stock market while you were loading up on Pogs: And if you're interested in buying some Pogs, meet us behind the 7-Eleven on South Avenue in Hermosa Beach.
- God owns everything and has promised to supply your every need: He promises to take care of those who seek him. We like the sound of that.
NOT SATIRE: The economy tanking is no joke. But neither is the reason why the economy is tanking.
You and I know that the government can't just print trillions of dollars and expect everything to be just fine. That's madness.
But that's what many kids are sadly taught in schools — not the truth of classical economics, but progressive talking points that allow this sort of irresponsible behavior.
That's why we created a free guide called "Tuttle Rebuttals" that shows kids (and their parents) how to respond to lies like "socialism is good," "marxism works," and more.
Because you're a Babylon Bee reader, I want you to have a free copy of this eBook. Click here to get this eBook now. And, if you're willing, help us get it into the hands of more kids and parents.
Thank you,
Connor Boyack
Author, Tuttle Twins
Founder, Libertas Institute
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.