With the Department of Justice's Special Counsel report calling President Biden's mental competency into question, there is renewed speculation that Democrats may seek to replace Biden on the ballot in the upcoming presidential election. But who would they pick on such short notice?
The Babylon Bee has exclusively obtained the following list of potential replacement candidates:
- Taylor Swift: Though many saw it coming, years of meticulous Deep State planning is finally coming to fruition.
- President Xi: He's been running the country behind the scenes for years, so he might as well make it official.
- Claudine Gay: Just imagine all of the amazing State of the Union speeches throughout history that we'd get to hear again.
- Chris Pratt: He's already appearing in every other role. Why not president?
- One of Biden's many body doubles: It would be a seamless transition.
- Daniel Day-Lewis: The only man more qualified than Joe Biden to pretend to be a president.
- Harry Truman: Just like Joe Biden, he has presidential experience and he passed away years ago.
- A life-sized wax sculpture of Joe Biden: No one would know the difference.
Start preparing yourself to see one of the names listed above being sworn in next January.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
