8 Changes Coming To The Oakland A's After They Move to Vegas
Sports · Sep 27, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

The Oakland Athletics are moving to Las Vegas. With such a big move come even bigger changes.

Here are eight changes coming to the Athletics in their new Vegas location:

  1. Some fans: No explanation needed.

  2. Moneyball will take on a whole new meaning: It's just gambling.

  3. Concession stands will be replaced by buffets with prime rib stations and chocolate wonder falls: What a deal!

  4. In between plays, the Jumbotron will advise visitors to seek help with their gambling addiction: Also, there are slot machines everywhere.

  5. Brent Rooker to be accompanied by two white tigers and a juggling monkey during his home run trots: Wow!

  6. Fewer homeless people will be taking a dump in right field: And now they're prostitutes.

  7. Umpires will also be Elvis impersonators: Viva Las Vegas!

  8. Umpire to check pitcher for STDs after every inning: What happens on the mound, stays on the mound.

What do you think? Are you excited the Athletics are moving to Vegas, or do you not even care?


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