7 Best Things To Say While Your Wife Is In Labor
Family · Dec 2, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

When your wife is screaming like crazy as your progeny prepares to burst forth from her loins, it can be a bit hard to know what to say! Here is a handy list you can consult of the seven most helpful things to say to your wife while she is in labor:

  1. "Eve really screwed this up for you ladies, huh?": It always helps to remember pain is a consequence of sin.
  2. "All this blood is making me woozy, I need to lie down": Lying in a hospital bed next to her will let her know she's not alone.
  3. "My mom is here to record a video": Your wife will cherish this memory for a lifetime.
  4. "I'm sorry the epidural didn't work, but I believe in you": Words of affirmation go a long way in moments like these.
  5. "I'm almost to the hospital, the drive-thru was super slow": Your thoughtfulness in stopping for tacos will give her the strength to continue.
  6. "Just think, we'll do this five more times!": Imagining all of your future children together will give her the perfect image to focus on.
  7. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault": When all else fails, this is the winner.

With this list handy, the trial of labor will be easier for both of you! Congrats on the new baby!

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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