EL PASO, TX — In a last-ditch effort to get Democrats and Republicans to start caring about border security, the Texas government has disguised their southern border as the border between Ukraine and Russia.
"Oh please, won't someone please help us?" said Texas Governor Greg Abbot while hoisting blue and yellow flags all along the border fence. "Putin's forces have encircled us from the south and are entering our country uninhibited!"
Having fallen for the clever ruse, WEF Chairman Klaus Schwab called his pal George Soros and ordered him to assemble the dark united forces of media, corporations, and the Illuminati and unite the world in solidarity over the urgency of protecting the southern border. Soon everyone was changing their social media profile pictures and holding candlelight vigils to raise awareness for border security.
"WE MUST PROTECT THE SOUTHERN BORDER! WE MUST PROTECT THE SOUTHERN BORDER!" said the media, Hollywood, every world power, every late-night talk show host, and David French — all in perfect robotic unison.
Texans are hoping global powers can help them gain a little border security before everyone figures out they've been tricked.
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