The Walt Disney Company caved to a righteous outcry of public pressure when it gutted beloved log flume attraction Splash Mountain, replacing any reference to its controversial film Song of the South in favor of The Princess and the Frog — a movie starring an African American princess who sings multiple songs in the south.
But that's not good enough, Disney!
Here are other problematic attractions that need to be closed ASAP:
- Space Mountain: It's too white.
- Matterhorn Bobsleds: Also white.
- Mad Tea Party: The tea was stolen from colonized India.
- The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: It sucks.
- Haunted Mansion: Do you know who built that mansion? Slaves, probably.
- The Hall of Presidents: Trump.
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Handsome skeletons create unrealistic standards of beauty that can lead to deadly eating disorders.
- Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin: 1.3 million people die in car accidents every year.
- Indiana Jones™ Adventure: A white man stealing sacred artifacts from indigenous peoples is no basis for family entertainment.
- Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room: Koro the Midnight Dancer perpetuates harmful Polynesian stereotypes.
- Frozen Ever After: Again, TOO WHITE! How many times do we have to go over this?
What are you thinking, Disney?? FIX THIS NOW!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
