The temperatures are rising, and you know what that means: riot season is here! Before you go out for a nice evening of looting with the boys, be sure to follow these ten steps to ensure you have a fun and successful riot:
Ask your mom's permission: There's nothing worse than coming home from rioting to an angry mom.
Get in some warm-up exercises: Do a few sets of Molotov curls and iPhone lifts to get loose.
Find the correct color minority friend to go with: This can vary by riot, so pay attention.
Request time off from work: Hahaha just kidding, we know you don't work.
CARBO LOAD: Burning down cities takes a lot of energy!
Get a selfie stick: If you're not snapping selfies while burning down a courthouse, what are you even doing?
Strap on your old shin guards from little league to use as armor: Man, you look so cool.
Pack some Pepto Bismol: Because rioting with a tummy ache is the worst.
Sand Mr. Miyagi's deck so you can learn how to block: The police will be helpless against you.
Try to figure out what cause you'll be rioting for: Then be sure to shout about it while you're stealing booze.
You're all set! Now get out there and firebomb a small business.
These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.
