You may have been told that going to college is the way to make it far in life, but these days going to college seems more like the way to make it far into debt and living in your parents' basement. It may be time to think about alternatives to college.
The Babylon Bee is here to help young people make wise choices for their lives by presenting the following list of ways to get a good education without going to college:
- Watch Ancient Aliens on the History Channel: Ancient history and science class all in one.
- Listen to Joe Rogan 7 hours a day: That guy knows what he's talking about.
- Travel the world and train with masters and gurus in multiple disciplines before returning home to fight crime as a vigilante: This one works better if you inherit a multi-billion-dollar fortune beforehand.
- Ask random dudes, "What'cha thinkin' about?" to learn all about ancient Rome: They're thinking about it. You know they are.
- Sit under a tree until an apple falls on your head to learn about gravity: It worked for Newton.
- Submit yourself as a test subject for Elon Musk's Neuralink brain implant: There's only a slight chance you'll become a rampaging cyborg that has to be put down to save mankind.
- Loudly say "I don't understand the ending to Interstellar!" near a group of men: They'll be tripping over each other to make sure you're fully educated.
- Read as much Calvin and Hobbes as possible: The kid and the stuffed tiger, not the protestant reformer and the philosopher.
- Marry an Asian: They know it all.
- Read any book by G.K. Chesterton: Literally any book he did. Seriously.
Choose any one of the strategies listed above and you're sure to come away with the type of knowledge a college education could never match. They're all cheaper, too.
NOT SATIRE: History. Economics. The great works of literature. The meaning of the U.S. Constitution. Time and technology have changed a lot of things, but they have not changed the truths about the world and our place in it.
Hillsdale College is offering more than 40 free online courses in the most important and enduring subjects. You can learn about the works of C.S. Lewis, the stories in the book of Genesis, the meaning of the U.S. Constitution, the rise and fall of the Roman Republic, or the history of ancient Christianity with Hillsdale College's online courses, all available for FREE.
The courses are self-paced so that you can start whenever and wherever. In fact, you can start right now! Enroll for free in "C.S. Lewis on Christianity" to discover Lewis' core lessons regarding the truth and goodness of the Christian faith, or "American Citizenship and Its Decline" with Victor Davis Hanson to explore the threats to citizenship today, including the erosion of the middle class, uncontrolled immigration, an unaccountable deep state, and the rise of globalist organizations.
Start your free course right now by clicking here.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.