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Friendly reminder; Lent starts tomorrow. That's right - it's time to put aside 40 days and suffer like a true Catholic. No one expects you to fast in the desert for forty days (that's tough!), but you can probably handle one or all of these.
Here are 10 things you should EASILY be able to give up for lent:
1) Leg day at the gym: Pretty sure Jesus didn't worry about leg day. Pretty sure.
2) Packing school lunches: Be honest, you hate doing this anyway. And it gives your kids a chance to give up something for Lent as well!
3) Russian Vodka: It's a bad habit and somehow helps you stand with Ukraine!
4) Divorce: You probably shouldn't be doing this anyway but if you could at least knock it off for forty days that'd be greeeeat.
5) Laughing when your kid gets hurt doing something you told him not to do: Next to impossible. You're aiming for sainthood status with this one.
6) Pretending you have to go to the bathroom so you can have some peace and quiet on your smartphone for 20 minutes: You're not fooling anybody.
7) Helping out around the house: You give something up and it forces your kids to improve their work ethic. Two birds with one stone!
8) Flossing: That way you'll have a legitimate reason when your dentist asks you why you didn't.
9) Invading Ukraine: Hint hint, Russia.
10) The Presidency: If your name is Joe Biden.
Now, it's time to take up your cross and suffer! Good luck!
NOT SATIRE: This Lent, don't just give something up but challenge yourself to pray every day with the Hallow App's #Pray40 Challenge.
Join millions of Christians around the world in journeying with Jesus to the Cross and meditating on the 7 Last Words of Christ, led by the two most famous men to portray Jesus in our lifetimes: Jim Caviezel from The Passion of the Christ and Jonathan Roumie from The Chosen.
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Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: