Are you a single loser? Are you also a man? Love scientists with The Babylon Bee talked with 1000 actual real-live women and uncovered ten things Christian women are looking for in a man. Only you have the power to mold yourself into the ultimate man and win her heart.
Consider embodying one of these amazing qualities:
- Boaz: If you are Boaz then you can stop reading this list right now. MMM, Boaz...
- A man with the body of Henry Cavill and the brains of C.S. Lewis: This is the whole package!
- A believer in the patriarchy who will provide for her and free her from the shackles of corporate America: Also see, Boaz.
- A guy who doesn't want to have sex with you and then murder the child: This is a pretty important one.
- A godly man who loves kids and puppies and is over 6' tall and muscular and really tan with fertile seed: This is the kind of man who will give you the freedom to be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant like you've always wanted.
- A guy with a completed AWANA vest: The only way to know he's truly godly. Boaz had one of these.
- A dude who never complains about casseroles: Bonus points for loving burnt meatloaf.
- A man who will wake her up at 4 a.m. to read the King James Bible to her: NIV readers need not apply.
- Somebody who can open pickle jars and reach things on high shelves: Better get jacked, nerds!
- A guy who can fold a fitted sheet: Dreamy! Just like MyPillow Giza Dream Sheets.
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