While humanity was once pretty effective at executing criminals, we've stumbled a bit as of late.
In the wake of Tennessee's botched execution, The Babylon Bee has come to the rescue with this list of 10 surefire ways to administer the death penalty:
Inject them with the COVID-19 vaccine: Slow, but foolproof.
Take them to the set of an Alec Baldwin movie: They can even operate a camera before the end comes.
Hand them a nice cartoon of the prophet Mohammed and drop them in London: Done and done.
Give a bunch of people rifles and put them in a line facing the criminal and then have them all shoot their guns at once: We could call it, and we're just spitballing here, "a firing squad."
Place them between JB Pritzker and a hamburger: Oof. What a way to go.
Call Texas: They seem to have it figured out.
Disguise them as Caitlin Clark and put them in a WNBA game: Decapitation guaranteed.
Lock them in a room with a TV that plays nothing but an endless loop of The View: Cruel and unusual, but effective.
Give the criminal dirt on Hillary Clinton: Sayonara, criminal.
Just get a dude to do it: Let's be honest.
Try these out next time, Tennessee. Let us know your preferred method in the comments.
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