Watch out! Every company you love has become WOKE! If you want to avoid supporting progressive businesses then you'll need to be prepared. Consider these fantastic alternatives to some of the more notable liberal corporations.
Instead of Twitter
...use TRUTH Social for 3 weeks before Trump cans it. Then go back to Twitter.
Instead of brewing your coffee with Starbucks beans:
...use Goya beans!
Instead of Levis
...buy pants made for grown-ups.
Instead of Gilette razors
...grow a beard like a man.
Instead of Microsoft
...mine your own silicon, build a computer from scratch and program an OS in painstaking binary.
Instead of subscribing to Disney+
...just let your children scream and scream and scream.
Instead of buying books from Amazon
...buy a Gutenberg press and print leaflets. Bind them together with leather from the cattle you slaughter. Easy as 1, 2, 3!
Instead of buying Nike shoes
...go to China and get your own slave to make some shoes. Everyone's doing it!
Instead of watching Netflix
...use your parents' account to watch Netflix.
Instead of Facebook
...go to your high school reunion and listen as people you don't remember pitch pyramid schemes. It's an almost identical experience!
NOT SATIRE: Here at NutraMedix, we have supported Christian charities and missions for over 29 years. We've donated $15 million so far and our goal is to surpass $100 million in giving by 2030.
But that's not all! We provide high-quality natural products that can help people achieve their health and wellness goals. To learn more about how we can help keep you healthy, check out our easy-to-use health kits.
Join us in our mission to support your health while giving to Christian charities and missions.
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Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.