WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secret Service remain on full alert following an incident where President Trump saw the new Superman movie and decided to go up on the roof with a red blanket tied around his neck.
"It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's just me, your favorite president," Trump reportedly said as he mimed flying through the air, arms outstretched. "Watch out, Vance. I'm stronger than a locomotive."
According to sources, Trump was so impressed with Superman he decided to call director James Gunn and congratulate him for the "just absolutely tremendous" film. He then went up on the roof of the White House with a red blanket cape to see if he could fly like his favorite superhero.
Secret Service agents attempted to stop Trump but were foiled by the slightly sloped incline of the White House roof. "We can't go up there," said Special Agent Margot Reeve. "That's our kryptonite."
Eyewitnesses say Trump never looked more heroic as when he fell off the White House roof, his makeshift cape flowing behind him majestically.
At publishing time, Trump vowed he would not let falling off the White House roof prevent him from saving America. "I need to soak in the yellow sun and then I'm out of here," Trump told panicked Secret Service agents. "You'll believe a man can fly, believe me. Everyone says so."
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