10 Differences Between The Underground Church And The American Church
Sponsored · Dec 28, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by: Christian Freedom International

Times are tough here in the United States, especially for Christians. From subpar coffee quality and stale breakfast pastries to the worship team's fog machine breaking down and congregants having to park up to 100 feet away from the church building, American churches are facing unprecedented hardships. But how are our Christian brothers and sisters around the world faring?

The Babylon Bee has conducted an investigation and come up with the following list of differences between the challenges faced by the underground church and the American church:

American: Complex growth and marketing strategies.

Underground: Growth strategy is "preach the gospel and try not to die."


American: Pastor jumps dirt bike over the stage to attract a crowd.

Underground: Pastor rides dirt bike to escape the Secret Police.


American: Pastor has thousands of followers on Instagram.

Underground: Pastor is forced to hide his identity to avoid the gulag.


American: 8 trained musicians playing over a $12 million sound system.

Underground: A cappella hymns whispered to avoid detection.


American: Bummer! Your favorite preacher from the pastoral staff isn't speaking today.

Underground: Bummer! The only pastor your church has was imprisoned last night.


American: Greeters stand near the doors.

Underground: Lookouts posted on the roof.


American: Pastor hides money in the walls.

Underground: Pastor hides in the walls.


American: Search for a new church because the music isn't your style.

Underground: Search for a new church because yours was burned down by warlords last week.


American: The authorities have to issue a mandate to stop them from gathering together to worship.

Underground: The authorities have to kill them to stop them from gathering together to worship.


NOT SATIRE: Picture this: Afghan Christians hiding in safe houses. North Koreans escaping the brutal regime. Christian families attacked by Islamist mobs. Christian girls at risk of kidnapping and forced conversions.

This is real life for many Christians today. They risk their lives for believing in Jesus.

You can help. The first step is to pray.

Christian Freedom International's 2024 Prayer Calendar will help you to picture — and pray for — persecuted Christians.

Each picture is of persecuted Christians that Christian Freedom International has helped. Each month has a Bible verse to guide your prayers.

Use it in your:

  • Home, to remember to pray
  • Church, to invite others to learn more
  • Family devotions, to teach children to care for the persecuted
  • Bible classes, to join in community to pray

Equip yourself to remember to pray for persecuted Christians this New Year.

Order Free Prayer Calendar


Bob Boeing, the founder of Boeing, explains how the number 1 priority for the airline manufacturer is diversity.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more uplifting DEI videos!

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now