10 Awesome Christmas Gifts For Your Homeschooled Child
Sponsored · Dec 23, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by: Great Homeschool Conventions

Do you homeschool your kids? Ew! Where will they learn social skills? Aren't you concerned about that? Oh well--even weird homeschoolers deserve a good Christmas, so here are some gift ideas to help you out!

  1. The Iliad and Odyssey in the original ancient Greek: For fun translation time with friends!
  2. A brand new shirt: But they still have to sew it themselves.
  3. 9th sibling: No homeschooled child should have to settle for 8!
  4. A book of small words: To help them learn how to talk to all the illiterate kids their own age.
  5. Shiny new garden hoe: Makes harvesting the zucchini much easier!
  6. Neck pillow: For those long, semi-annual van rides to Ken Ham's "The Ark Encounter"
  7. World Book Encyclopedia: With all the sex and anatomy stuff blacked out with a marker. A small price to pay for purity!
  8. A real haircut: Supercuts does a much better job than Mom. What a treat!
  9. "The Talk": As long as they're at least 20 years old.
  10. Tickets for their first secular concert: Switchfoot!

And that's it! Merry Christmas and have fun shopping for your home-educated geniuses!

NOT SATIRE: Homeschooling or considering homeschooling?

There is a reason homeschooling families travel from all over the United States and Canada to attend a Great Homeschool Convention. In only the past two years, forty-seven states have been represented at these events. The attendees not only take advantage of the available hotel discounts, but they genuinely find it the Homeschooling Event of the Year!

"I am homeschooling next year (3rd, 5th & 6th) and still have doubts. Going to this convention for the 1st time was not only uplifting but gave me confidence and excitement! I learned much and walked away feeling more confident at the beginning of this journey. All the speakers were terrific; some brought me to tears…. Thank you so much for giving me this experience!" - Stephanie E.

We have the best home education speakers you won't find anywhere else. You will have the option of hundreds of info-packed workshops where you will learn practical ideas you can implement immediately.

Browse and shop a huge homeschool curriculum exhibit hall that offers the best homeschooling curriculum and resources.

A full individual or family registration includes access to all workshops, the exhibit hall, Green Ember — LIVE!, a Thursday evening event with author, S.D. Smith, and Friday Night Comedy with Bob Smiley. Shopping-only passes are also available.

Find a Location Near You and Register Now

Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.

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