WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following news that the United States military, along with support from the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, the Netherlands, and Bahrain, carried out significant airstrikes against Houthi targets in Yemen, President Joe Biden's approval rating reached an impressive 100% among military defense contractors.
The military-industrial complex, which has long been one of the nation's most important voting blocks, offered Biden its full support as he dragged the United States into yet another ambiguous — and highly profitable — military conflict in the Middle East.
"This is the type of leadership we're looking for," said James Taiclet, President and CEO of Lockheed Martin. "It's been just a few years since our nation was embroiled in an endless quagmire of armed hostilities in the Middle East — which is far too long. President Biden has fixed that glaring problem, and we are behind him all the way. Bring it, Yemeni goatherders!"
Geopolitical experts say the latest airstrikes in Yemen could lead to not only increased tension in the region but potentially all-out war with Iran. Top powerbrokers at several defense contractor firms salivated at the prospect. "You better not just be teasing us!" said Kathy Warden, CEO of Northrop Grumman. "We need a president who isn't afraid to jump right into a huge mess that costs American lives and turns the defense budget faucet back on full-blast, and that president is Joe Biden!"
At publishing time, President Biden responded to questions about bombing Yemen by saying he was not aware there was a country called Yemen.
Kamala Harris is out of a job, but luckily we've got ten great career options just for her.
