Christian Living
· Sep 2, 2026
· 49
God Decides To Flood Earth Again After KFC Releases Oreo Chicken Sandwich
HEAVEN - Heavenly sources report that the Lord has decided it is once again time to wipe out most of humanity after Kentucky Fried Chicken released th...
U.S.
· Sep 2, 2026
· 48
Toddler Puts Self Up For Adoption After Seeing Mom Scrolling Lindsay Clancy TikTok
DANBURY, CT - According to sources, a toddler has reportedly put herself up for adoption after witnessing his mother scrolling through Lindsay Clancy ...
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Education
· Sep 1, 2026
· 74
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam
MEDINA, OH - In a terribly unlucky break, local sixth-grader Mackenzie Warner completely flunked her geography test after President Trump renamed ever...
Politics
· Sep 1, 2026
· 61
Lindsay Clancy Surges To Commanding Lead As 2028 Democrat Front-Runner
U.S. - New poll numbers released this week showed Lindsay Clancy surging into the frontrunner position in the race to become the 2028 Democratic presi...
Worldviews
· Sep 1, 2026
· 66
Satan Wondering If He Went Too Far With Feminism
HELL - The Prince of Darkness admitted he may have made a big mistake, as Satan reportedly wondered if he had gone too far when he orchestrated the mo...
Culture
· Aug 31, 2026
· 90
10 Notable Historical Events Experts Now Believe Were Caused By Postpartum Depression
Before the trial of Lindsay Clancy, everyone thought postpartum depression was a myth. But now society as a whole understands that the sudden drop in ...
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Headline Says It All
· Aug 31, 2026
· 80
Jury Still Trying To Decide If Strangling Your Kids Is Okay
PLYMOUTH, MA - After seventeen hours of deliberations over the span of three days, a jury was still struggling to decide whether murder is wrong.
Sports
· Sep 1, 2026
· 71
NFL Hoping A White Player Will Eventually Make It Into End Zone To See ‘End Racism’ Message
U.S. - The National Football League expressed hope that this would finally be the season when a white player would make it to the end zone and see the...
Politics
· Aug 31, 2026
· 83
Mamdani Installs Muslim Foot-Washing Station At 9/11 Memorial
NEW YORK CITY, NY - Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced the installation of a Muslim foot-washing station at the base of the 9/11 Memorial in preparation f...
Crime
· Aug 31, 2026
· 70
Chicago Mayor Touts Increased Diversity Of City’s Shooting Victims
CHICAGO, IL - In the wake of a mass shooting that left one dead and 14 wounded, Mayor Brandon Johnson touted the city's increased diversity of shootin...
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· Aug 31, 2026
· 66
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
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· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Premium
· Aug 24, 2026
· 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines
Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
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· Aug 18, 2026
· 139
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