The Babylon Bee
World
· Oct 26, 2026
· 6
Riots Fizzle Out As French Refuse To Protest More Than 32 Hours Per Week
PARIS - Fiery riots across the country ended suddenly on Saturday when participants refused to protest more than 32 hours in a given week.
Scripture
· Oct 26, 2026
· 32
Pharaoh Relents After Moses Unleashes Plague Of Political Fundraising Texts
PI-RAMESSES - Mighty Pharaoh (may he live forever) has reportedly released the Hebrews from their bondage after the land was afflicted by a plague of ...
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Life
· Oct 22, 2026
· 69
Not Sure If You Married Your Brother? 9 Signs To Look For
With Representative Ilhan Omar seemingly unsure about whether she accidentally married her brother, millions of women have been left asking themselves...
Culture
· Oct 24, 2026
· 80
LGBTQ+ To Add 'S' For Sibling
NEW YORK, NY - LGBTQ+ has just gotten a little more inclusive with the addition of an "S" for "Sibling."
Sports
· Oct 23, 2026
· 68
NFL To Paint 'Allahu Akbar' In Endzone For Game In Paris
PARIS - To accommodate modern French sensibilities, the NFL has announced that their first ever game to take place in Paris will include special endzo...
Entertainment
· Oct 24, 2026
· 38
God Promises To Spare BioWare If He Can Find Ten Developers Who Are Heterosexual White Men
EDMONTON - Just days before Electronic Arts shuttered video game developer BioWare Corp., sources confirmed a divine promise was made to spare the stu...
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Crime
· Oct 23, 2026
· 78
'You Will Always Remember The Day You Almost Caught Ilhan Omar!' Shouts Representative Jumping Aboard Somali Pirate Ship
DULUTH, MN - Congresswoman Ilhan Omar narrowly evaded capture by authorities on Thursday as she was seen escaping aboard a Somali pirate ship docked i...
Sports
· Oct 23, 2026
· 55
Oh No: Atlanta Falcons Announce Surprise Game In Paris
PARIS - Panic spread across the city of Paris today after the Atlanta Falcons announced a surprise visit to France.
Politics
· Oct 22, 2026
· 71
Ilhan Omar Says She Didn't Know She'd Married Her Brother As They Were Separated At Birth And Hidden From Their Father, Darth Vader
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an interview with MS NOW last night, Representative Ilhan Omar explained that she didn't know that she had married her brother a...
Health
· Oct 23, 2026
· 47
Nurse Wakes Sleeping New Mom For 17th Time To Remind Her To Get Some Rest
CHARLOTTE, NC - Night-shift nurse Avani Kaur burst into the hospital room at 2 a.m. this morning to remind recovering mother Lindsay Cullen how critic...
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Premium
· Oct 26, 2026
· 22
Are These Fit For The Funny Pages? Rejected Headlines | October 26, 2026
The Babylon Bee is dedicated to bringing you only the best headlines money can buy. Our writers constantly bring us their ideas and while some of them...
Premium
· Oct 23, 2026
· 23
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | October 23, 2026
Welcome to the Bee's Weekly Roundup! We're here to catch you up on the biggest stories of the past week - and to save our dear readers from the dreadf...
Premium
· Oct 22, 2026
· 93
Open Discussion Thread: Gerwig's Narnia
A few days have passed since the psychedelic, rock-riff blasting trailer of Greta Gerwig's $250 million retelling of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew dro...
Premium
· Oct 21, 2026
· 54
NEWS DESK: New Poll Shows Voters Frustrated By Gas Prices Willing To Start Castrating Kids Again
This Babylon Bee News Desk is an exclusive video for our subscribers. Enjoy!
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