Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Videos Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Videos
Newsletter
Shop Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Videos Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop Search
Skip to main content
Man Returns To Work From Long Weekend Refreshed And Ready To Give Mediocre Effort - Article image
Life · Sep 8, 2026 · 47
Man Returns To Work From Long Weekend Refreshed And Ready To Give Mediocre Effort

ROME, GA - After a long holiday weekend, local man Kevin Simpson returned to his office at River City Bank this morning, refreshed and ready to give a...

Disciples Shocked As Apostle Paul Returns From Prison Tattooed And Totally Ripped - Article image
Scripture · Sep 8, 2026 · 32
Disciples Shocked As Apostle Paul Returns From Prison Tattooed And Totally Ripped

PHILIPPI - According to sources, the disciples at Lydia's house were shocked to see that Paul had returned from prison covered in tattoos and "totally...

God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors - Article image
U.S. · Sep 8, 2026 · 45
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors

BOSTON, MA - A new report revealed that God promised to spare the state of Massachusetts if legal officials there can find at least 12 competent resid...
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave
Senate Approves Mitch McConnell Working Remotely From Grave - Featured article image
Politics · Sep 8, 2026 · 50

WASHINGTON, D.C. - As the U.S. Congress prepared to return to work next week, one major lingering question was answered as the Senate approved a reque...

News Station Adds Chick-Fil-A Drive Thru Wait Times To Traffic Report - Article image
Media · Sep 8, 2026 · 44
News Station Adds Chick-Fil-A Drive Thru Wait Times To Traffic Report

LUBBOCK, TX - In an effort to better serve residents, one local news station added Chick-Fil-A drive-thru wait times to its morning traffic report.

Media · Sep 8, 2026 · 44
News Station Adds Chick-Fil-A Drive Thru Wait Times To Traffic Report

News Station Adds Chick-Fil-A Drive Thru Wait Times To Traffic Report - Featured article image
LUBBOCK, TX - In an effort to better serve residents, one local news station added Chick-Fil-A drive-thru wait times to its morning traffic report.
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors - Article image
U.S. · Sep 8, 2026 · 45
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors

BOSTON, MA - A new report revealed that God promised to spare the state of Massachusetts if legal officials there can find at least 12 competent resid...

Subscriber Headlines

'Grand Theft Auto' Maker Rockstar Games Sues California For Stealing Their Idea Of Open-World Crime And Chaos

Aug 28, 2026 | TwoDegreesOff


Democrats Promise To Make Illegal Alien Voting: Safe, Legal And Rare

Aug 30, 2026 | Jesus defeated death so you can live


Target Apologize For Selling Cotton Clothes As It Might Remind People Of Slavery

Aug 27, 2026 | ironsakura

Visit Forum


Latest

View All
Child Tragically Reaches Age Where He Knows He's Not Actually Playing Video Game - Article image
Child Tragically Reaches Age Where He Knows He's Not Actually Playing Video Game
Family · Sep 8, 2026 · 17
California Teen Flunks Driver's License Test For Fully Stopping At Stop Sign - Article image
California Teen Flunks Driver's License Test For Fully Stopping At Stop Sign
Life · Sep 7, 2026 · 90
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God - Article image
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God
Theology · Sep 5, 2026 · 99
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut - Article image
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut
Sports · Sep 5, 2026 · 42
Nation Votes To Remove Massachusetts - Article image
Nation Votes To Remove Massachusetts
U.S. · Sep 5, 2026 · 90
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over - Article image
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over
Scripture · Sep 4, 2026 · 71

Buzzing

View All
Breakthrough As Scientists At University Of Michigan Develop Ability To Travel Back In Time One Second - Article image
Sports · Sep 6, 2026 · 88
Breakthrough As Scientists At University Of Michigan Develop Ability To Travel Back In Time One Second

ANN ARBOR - In one of the most remarkable technological breakthroughs of the past millennium, scientists at the University of Michigan have successful...
Nation’s Murderers Excited To Learn Killing Legal If You Say You Were Sad - Article image
U.S. · Sep 7, 2026 · 88
Nation’s Murderers Excited To Learn Killing Legal If You Say You Were Sad

U.S. - Millions of murderers across the country expressed overwhelming optimism today following reports that killing someone is effectively legal, pro...
Women Honor Gloria Steinem By Leaving Kids At Daycare And Working 9 Hours At Jobs They Hate - Article image
Worldviews · Sep 7, 2026 · 62
Women Honor Gloria Steinem By Leaving Kids At Daycare And Working 9 Hours At Jobs They Hate

U.S. - Women across America honored the passing of feminist icon Gloria Steinem by dropping their kids off at daycare and heading to work for 9 hours ...
Controversy In Michigan Tarnishes NCAA’s Otherwise Perfect Reputation - Article image
Sports · Sep 6, 2026 · 43
Controversy In Michigan Tarnishes NCAA’s Otherwise Perfect Reputation

ANN ARBOR, MI - A highly controversial ending at Michigan Stadium has unfortunately put a slight black eye on the NCAA's otherwise sterling reputation...

Must Read

State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity - Article image
U.S. · Sep 4, 2026 · 98
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity

U.S. - The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang - Article image
The Bee Explains · Sep 2, 2026 · 193
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang

Connecting with the older folk can be a challenge, especially when you have a hard time understanding what they're saying. But don't worry, if you put...
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans - Article image
Sports · Sep 4, 2026 · 53
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald Trump announced on Friday that he had successfully annexed the Canadian hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens, and w...
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance - Article image
Politics · Sep 4, 2026 · 70
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance

NEW YORK, NY - New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparatio...

Don't Miss

Church Suddenly Interested In Female Pastor After Learning They Can Pay Just 78 Cents On The Dollar - Article image
Church · Aug 24, 2017 · 5
Church Suddenly Interested In Female Pastor After Learning They Can Pay Just 78 Cents On The Dollar

DERRY, SC - Leadership at Derry First United Reformed Church confirmed Monday that they were considering revising the church's requirement that the se...
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids - Article image
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids
Family · May 19, 2026 · 59
Ted Cruz Says All His Haters Are Just Unable To Resist His Raw Sex Appeal - Article image
Ted Cruz Says All His Haters Are Just Unable To Resist His Raw Sex Appeal
Politics · Jan 1, 2022 · 263
McAuliffe Blames Loss On Low 3AM Ballot Turnout - Article image
McAuliffe Blames Loss On Low 3AM Ballot Turnout
Politics · Nov 4, 2021 · 169
Tragedy: New Ayatollah Dead After Being Accidentally Left Out In Rain - Article image
Tragedy: New Ayatollah Dead After Being Accidentally Left Out In Rain
World · Mar 11, 2026 · 81
Liberals Propose New Open-Concept Prisons - Article image
Liberals Propose New Open-Concept Prisons
Politics · Jun 10, 2020 · 28
Ministry Of Truth Announces Target Of Today's Two Minutes Hate Is Tucker Carlson - Article image
Ministry Of Truth Announces Target Of Today's Two Minutes Hate Is Tucker Carlson
Worldviews · May 2, 2022 · 146

Premium Content

View All
Happy Labor Day 2026! - Article image
Premium · Sep 7, 2026 · 83
Happy Labor Day 2026!

Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project - Article image
Premium · Aug 31, 2026 · 74
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project

Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed - Article image
Premium · Aug 27, 2026 · 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed

The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines - Article image
Premium · Aug 24, 2026 · 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines

Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...

Greatest Hits

View All
In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible - Article image
In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible
Politics · Jun 3, 2020 · 48
Joel Osteen Launches Line Of Pastoral Wear: 'Sheep's Clothing' - Article image
Joel Osteen Launches Line Of Pastoral Wear: 'Sheep's Clothing'
Celebs · Sep 22, 2017 · 20
Study Finds Connection Between Believing Russia Rigged 2016 Election And Believing 2020 Election Was Foolproof - Article image
Study Finds Connection Between Believing Russia Rigged 2016 Election And Believing 2020 Election Was Foolproof
Politics · Nov 17, 2020 · 69
Wives: 13 Subtle Signs Your Husband Is 'In The Mood' - Article image
Wives: 13 Subtle Signs Your Husband Is 'In The Mood'
Life · Aug 15, 2024 · 163
14 Things The FBI Found In Donald Trump's Safe - Article image
14 Things The FBI Found In Donald Trump's Safe
Sponsored · Aug 9, 2022 · 252
New Version Of 'Operation' Just Has Players Use Essential Oils Instead Of Performing A Medical Procedure - Article image
New Version Of 'Operation' Just Has Players Use Essential Oils Instead Of Performing A Medical Procedure
Christian Living · Jun 21, 2019 · 16

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy
  • Donate

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2026 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.