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Church Introduces Hogwarts Sorting Hat To Identify Your Spiritual Gifts - Article image
Church · Aug 15, 2026 · 73
Church Introduces Hogwarts Sorting Hat To Identify Your Spiritual Gifts

HOUSTON, TX - Local church Crestview Methodist reportedly introduced a fun new "sorting hat" to identify the spiritual gifts of members.

After Observing Adam For Two Minutes, God Decides Man's Going To Need A Helper - Article image
Scripture · Aug 14, 2026 · 72
After Observing Adam For Two Minutes, God Decides Man's Going To Need A Helper

EDEN - According to Heavenly sources, a final decision was made to provide a helper suitable for Adam after observing him for just two minutes.

Candace: 'If You Don't Count The Video, DNA, Murder Weapon, Ballistics, Motive, Text Messages, And Multiple Confessions, There Is ZERO Evidence Against Tyler Robinson' - Article image
Crime · Aug 14, 2026 · 65
Candace: 'If You Don't Count The Video, DNA, Murder Weapon, Ballistics, Motive, Text Messages, And Multiple Confessions, There Is ZERO Evidence Against Tyler Robinson'

U.S. - Candace Owens completely dismantled the state's case against Tyler Robinson during a podcast episode on Monday, pointing out that if you don't ...
Kentucky Derby Convenes Committee To Determine What Is A Horse
Kentucky Derby Convenes Committee To Determine What Is A Horse
Kentucky Derby Convenes Committee To Determine What Is A Horse - Featured article image
Sports · Aug 14, 2026 · 127

LOUISVILLE, KY - Churchill Downs Inc. (CDI), which manages the annual Kentucky Derby race, formed a committee this week to answer a question which wou...

Faith In Humanity Instantly Restored By Kids’ Lemonade Stand - Article image
Life · Aug 16, 2026 · 56
Faith In Humanity Instantly Restored By Kids’ Lemonade Stand

FRISCO, TX - Local woman Samantha Johnson's faith in humanity was instantly restored this afternoon after she drove up to find neighborhood kids doing...

Life · Aug 16, 2026 · 56
Faith In Humanity Instantly Restored By Kids’ Lemonade Stand

Faith In Humanity Instantly Restored By Kids’ Lemonade Stand - Featured article image
FRISCO, TX - Local woman Samantha Johnson's faith in humanity was instantly restored this afternoon after she drove up to find neighborhood kids doing...
Candace: 'If You Don't Count The Video, DNA, Murder Weapon, Ballistics, Motive, Text Messages, And Multiple Confessions, There Is ZERO Evidence Against Tyler Robinson' - Article image
Crime · Aug 14, 2026 · 65
Candace: 'If You Don't Count The Video, DNA, Murder Weapon, Ballistics, Motive, Text Messages, And Multiple Confessions, There Is ZERO Evidence Against Tyler Robinson'

U.S. - Candace Owens completely dismantled the state's case against Tyler Robinson during a podcast episode on Monday, pointing out that if you don't ...

Subscriber Headlines

Another Sign Of End Times: Dunkin Discontinues Buttercrunch Donut

Aug 4, 2026 | Elmero Loco


Young George Washington Admits To Cutting Down A Flock Camera

Aug 6, 2026 | The Bat Knight


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Aug 4, 2026 | RuthieJ714

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Oh, Crap: Government Threatens To Fix Something - Article image
Oh, Crap: Government Threatens To Fix Something
Politics · Aug 15, 2026 · 114
Mangione Says He Is Only Guilty Of Stealing The Hearts Of Liberal Women Everywhere - Article image
Mangione Says He Is Only Guilty Of Stealing The Hearts Of Liberal Women Everywhere
Crime · Aug 14, 2026 · 65
WNBA Changes League Name To ?NBA - Article image
WNBA Changes League Name To ?NBA
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Kamala Harris Issues Dire Warning That SAVE America Act Could Result In America Being Saved - Article image
Kamala Harris Issues Dire Warning That SAVE America Act Could Result In America Being Saved
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Sad: WNBA Task Force Fails To Define Woman After Spending Entire Meeting Trying To Pick Restaurant For Lunch - Article image
Sad: WNBA Task Force Fails To Define Woman After Spending Entire Meeting Trying To Pick Restaurant For Lunch
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Mamdani Grocery Stores To Feature Innovative New 'Queue Where You Wait For Loaves Of Leavened Flour Products' - Article image
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Massachusetts Democrats Unveil Statue Of Molech At State Capitol - Article image
Politics · Aug 13, 2026 · 91
Massachusetts Democrats Unveil Statue Of Molech At State Capitol

BOSTON, MA - The state's Democratic leaders proudly unveiled a new bronze statue of the ancient pagan god Molech in front of the state Capitol on Thur...
Top 10 Reasons To Move To Colorado - Article image
U.S. · Aug 13, 2026 · 119
Top 10 Reasons To Move To Colorado

America's 38th state is often assumed to be just one giant mountain, but it's so much more! For example, the state bird is a lark bunting. Bet you did...
‘How Do You Spell Gazongas?’ Asks Trump While Drafting Up Job Posting For New Press Secretary - Article image
Politics · Aug 14, 2026 · 66
‘How Do You Spell Gazongas?’ Asks Trump While Drafting Up Job Posting For New Press Secretary

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Following the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, President Trump got straight to work drafting up a job pos...
‘C' From ‘Coexist’ Sticker Arrested For Running Over Other Letters With A Truck - Article image
Crime · Aug 14, 2026 · 88
‘C' From ‘Coexist’ Sticker Arrested For Running Over Other Letters With A Truck

NEW YORK, NY - A portion of downtown New York was closed on Friday after the "C" from the now famous "COEXIST" bumper sticker reportedly ran over the ...

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Karoline Leavitt Prepared For Motherhood After Spending Last Two Years Answering Millions Of Stupid Questions - Article image
Politics · Aug 13, 2026 · 53
Karoline Leavitt Prepared For Motherhood After Spending Last Two Years Answering Millions Of Stupid Questions

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has announced that she will be leaving her post in order to be a full-time mom, having prepared he...
Devastating: Francesca Hong Forced To Return Home And Spend Time With Her White Son - Article image
Politics · Aug 12, 2026 · 101
Devastating: Francesca Hong Forced To Return Home And Spend Time With Her White Son

MADISON, WI - After suffering a stunning electoral upset, a distraught Democratic governor hopeful Francesca Hong will be forced to return home and sp...
9 Foolproof Ways To Get Men To Show Up To A Bible Study - Article image
Sponsored · Aug 12, 2026 · 118
9 Foolproof Ways To Get Men To Show Up To A Bible Study

Regular Bible study is an important ingredient in a person's continued spiritual growth, but sometimes men just "don't wanna." Here are some foolproof...
WNBA Brings In Revered Supreme Court Justice To Help Determine What A Woman Is - Article image
Culture · Aug 13, 2026 · 104
WNBA Brings In Revered Supreme Court Justice To Help Determine What A Woman Is

NEW YORK, NY - Struggling to determine the definition of a woman, the Women's National Basketball Association decided to bring in a revered Supreme Co...

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Man Stacks Chairs After Church Service Like Tetris Champion - Article image
Church · Mar 20, 2017 · 12
Man Stacks Chairs After Church Service Like Tetris Champion

CHINO HILLS, CA - Shortly after Christ Church of the Hills' evening service concluded Sunday, local man Brent Everly was spotted stacking the church's...
Ocasio-Cortez: 'Everyone's Pay Should Be Equal, But My Pay Should Be More Equal Than Others'' - Article image
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Politics · Jun 12, 2019 · 8
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Person Finally Receives Healing After Final Holdout Extends Her Arm Forward During Prayer - Article image
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GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games - Article image
GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games
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Trump, Palin, Ocasio-Cortez Face Off In Lowest-Scoring 'Celebrity Jeopardy!' Episode In History - Article image
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Introducing the Beyond Parody Podcast - Article image
Premium · Aug 14, 2026 · 38
Introducing the Beyond Parody Podcast

For those of you that don't know, we've been running a "hybrid" Babylon Bee and Not the Bee podcast for the last year, called Beyond Parody. It's host...
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition - Article image
Premium · Jun 15, 2026 · 75
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition

Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring? - Article image
Premium · May 25, 2026 · 40
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?

Hey, Bee family!
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom - Article image
Premium · May 19, 2026 · 96
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom

As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...

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Senate To Be Replaced With Room Full Of Monkeys Throwing Feces
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In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible
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Democratic Leaders Call For New Investigation To Investigate The Investigators Investigating The Investigators - Article image
Democratic Leaders Call For New Investigation To Investigate The Investigators Investigating The Investigators
Politics · May 22, 2018 · 10
Rachel Levine Is 100% Woman And We Are Sorry For Calling Her A Man - Article image
Rachel Levine Is 100% Woman And We Are Sorry For Calling Her A Man
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Bernie Sanders Asks Nation To Please Stop Mailing Him Books On Economics - Article image
Bernie Sanders Asks Nation To Please Stop Mailing Him Books On Economics
Politics · Jul 5, 2018 · 9

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