The Babylon Bee Has Obtained RFK Jr.'s New And Improved Food Pyramid

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was only officially confirmed and sworn in as the new Secretary of Health and Human Services yesterday, but he's already making his presence felt in a major way. Sweeping changes are coming to the way the federal government promotes health, and it starts with the famous Food Pyramid.

RFK Jr. is doing away with what we've come to know as "healthy" eating and implementing his own all-new redesigned food pyramid to usher in a new era of American fitness. Check it out for yourself:

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Check out all that beef. With a diet like that, we'll all be killing bears and doing shirtless push-ups in no time.

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Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.