Democrats Demand Transparency From Man Who Posts Literally Everything He Does On The Internet

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have demanded increased transparency from a man who painstakingly posts on the internet every single thing he does.

After viewing hundreds of Musk's posts from the past day, replete with videos and images chronicling his every move, Democrats condemned Musk for shrouding his work in secrecy.

"We have no idea what Elon is really up to," said Senator Chuck Schumer, while listeners scrolling their phones read up-to-the-second updates from Musk about each bite of his breakfast. "It's just a total mystery."

Republicans argued in vain that Musk has run the most transparent government agency in history, describing his work in minute detail and publicly posting dozens of images showing the exact contracts that DOGE is canceling. "But other than posting government documents with precise contract amounts, payment histories, and signatures, where is the evidence of government waste?" asked Senator Elizabeth Warren. "Musk simply cannot be allowed to operate in the shadows like this."

At publishing time, Musk had posted 73 more updates in the past minute showing what contracts DOGE was canceling as well as describing in vivid detail each bite of his sandwich.

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