NAZARETH — According to those close to Joseph and Mary, Prominent OB/GYN Dr. Zacchaus of Nazareth pulled Joseph aside after Mary's latest checkup to tell him hauling his pregnant wife to Bethlehem on the back of a donkey was kind of a bad idea.
"Listen Joe, I know the census is important, but...a donkey?" Dr. Zacchaus was overheard asking Mary's weary husband. "She's going to pop any second, brother. I know you've been through a lot lately, people talk. But the last thing you need is to be stuck in Bethlehem during tax season when life takes an irreversible course, if you know what I mean."
Joseph was reported to have sighed and thanked the good doctor for his advice, adding that there really was no pleasant way to get a nine-month pregnant woman from Nazareth to Bethlehem, even with technological advancements like wheels, which he could not afford anyway. Dr. Zacchaus agreed with a sigh, wishing Joseph and Mary a safe, uneventful journey.
At publishing time, Dr. Zacchaus of Nazareth had reportedly just poured a glass of wine to enjoy on his back porch when he noticed an unusually bright star shining over Bethlehem.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
