Lifestyle
· May 18, 2026
· 25
Wife Can't Wait To Get Out There And Be Horrible At Gardening Again
BOISE, ID - With spring in full swing, one local woman expressed excitement at the chance to finally get back outside and be horrible at gardening aga...
Family
· May 18, 2026
· 42
Father Gathers Loved Ones To Break The News That He's Getting Really Into The Civil War
BANGOR, ME - Local dad David Kemp gathered his family together today to break the news to them that he's getting really into the American Civil War.
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World
· May 17, 2026
· 57
London Mayor Confused By Protesters Not Chanting ‘Death To Jews’
LONDON - London Mayor Sadiq Khan was deeply confused by protests over the weekend where no one was shouting "Death To Jews."
Scripture
· May 18, 2026
· 37
Baal Returns From The Bathroom To Find All His Prophets Dead
MOUNT CARMEL - The demon known as "Baal" returned from a bathroom break only to find all of 450 of his prophets dead.
Media
· May 16, 2026
· 93
Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws
U.S. - The Associated Press has warned that despite their deadly nature, medieval trebuchets are mostly exempt from firearm regulations in the United ...
Sports
· May 18, 2026
· 26
MLB Introduces 10-Run Mercy Rule For Boston Red Sox
BOSTON, MA - To keep games from getting out of hand, Major League Baseball announced that it would be implementing a 10-run "mercy rule" for the Bosto...
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Media
· May 15, 2026
· 72
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible'
NEW YORK, NY - The New York Times, one of the country's most venerated newspapers, announced it was adapting to trying times by changing its longtime ...
Politics
· May 14, 2026
· 63
Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive
BEIJING - President Donald Trump's meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping was going swimmingly until Trump made a crucial (but common) error: gifti...
U.S.
· May 15, 2026
· 39
Report: CIA Raided By CIA
LANGLEY, VA - Rumors swirled throughout the international intelligence community this week after reports surfaced that agents from the Central Intelli...
Entertainment
· May 15, 2026
· 46
Disney Purchases Rights To 'Robot Jox' Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal
BURBANK, CA - In a surprise movie, The Walt Disney Company announced that it had acquired the rights to the 1990 film Robot Jox in a massive $7 billio...
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Premium
· May 18, 2026
· 16
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492
Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
Premium
· May 5, 2026
· 47
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition
Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
Premium
· Apr 28, 2026
· 159
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees
Trump created quite a scene today when he showed off the beehive from the White House South Lawn to the visiting king of England. Write your best capt...
Premium
· Mar 12, 2026
· 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims
Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
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