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Report: White People Completely Unaffected By Jalapeño Recall - Article image
Life · Aug 10, 2026 · 44
Report: White People Completely Unaffected By Jalapeño Recall

U.S. - A new report confirmed that white people remained totally unaffected after a massive recall was issued across the U.S. for contaminated jalapeñ...

Cute: 5-Year-Old White Girl Dreams Of One Day Getting Beaten Up In The WNBA - Article image
Sports · Aug 10, 2026 · 27
Cute: 5-Year-Old White Girl Dreams Of One Day Getting Beaten Up In The WNBA

TERRE HAUTE, IN - In a wholesome display of innocence, a five-year-old white girl reportedly told her parents how she dreamed of one day growing up to...

Unscriptural Hymn Unfortunately A Banger - Article image
Church · Aug 10, 2026 · 27
Unscriptural Hymn Unfortunately A Banger

IRVINE, CA - The elders of the United Reformed Church of Irvine made the devastating discovery Sunday that an unscriptural hymn, entirely inappropriat...
Inspired By AOC, James Talarico Also Elects To Have His Eggs Frozen
Inspired By AOC, James Talarico Also Elects To Have His Eggs Frozen
Inspired By AOC, James Talarico Also Elects To Have His Eggs Frozen - Featured article image
Politics · Aug 10, 2026 · 47

AUSTIN, TX - Senate candidate James Talarico announced on Monday morning that he would be following in the inspiring footsteps of Representative Alexa...

40-Year-Old Man Still Chasing High Of Seeing Cards Bounce Around Screen After Winning Solitaire - Article image
Life · Aug 10, 2026 · 48
40-Year-Old Man Still Chasing High Of Seeing Cards Bounce Around Screen After Winning Solitaire

PLAINVIEW, TX - Local 40-year-old man Ben Gantry admitted that he had spent the past three decades chasing the high he first felt while seeing the car...

Life · Aug 10, 2026 · 48
40-Year-Old Man Still Chasing High Of Seeing Cards Bounce Around Screen After Winning Solitaire

40-Year-Old Man Still Chasing High Of Seeing Cards Bounce Around Screen After Winning Solitaire - Featured article image
PLAINVIEW, TX - Local 40-year-old man Ben Gantry admitted that he had spent the past three decades chasing the high he first felt while seeing the car...
Unscriptural Hymn Unfortunately A Banger - Article image
Church · Aug 10, 2026 · 27
Unscriptural Hymn Unfortunately A Banger

IRVINE, CA - The elders of the United Reformed Church of Irvine made the devastating discovery Sunday that an unscriptural hymn, entirely inappropriat...

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Rand Paul Tricks Fauci Into Testifying By Disguising Capital Building As ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

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Angel Still Guarding Eden With Flaming Sword Wondering If He Can Move Yet
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Top 10 Reasons To Move To California - Article image
Life · Aug 8, 2026 · 137
Top 10 Reasons To Move To California

With the population of California diminishing of late, we at The Babylon Bee are here to help turn the tide. Here are just ten of the many great reaso...
Bigotry Rears Ugly Head As WNBA Refuses To Allow This Stunning, Beautiful Woman Into League - Article image
Sports · Aug 9, 2026 · 94
Bigotry Rears Ugly Head As WNBA Refuses To Allow This Stunning, Beautiful Woman Into League

U.S. - In a disgusting act of appalling bigotry, the WNBA is refusing to allow a stunning, beautiful woman into the league on the grounds that she is ...
Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her - Article image
Life · Aug 8, 2026 · 104
Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her

ROANOKE, VA - Upon seeing a middle-aged man join her line, local 16-year-old grocery cashier Mandy Banks began desperately hoping that he would try to...
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around - Article image
Politics · Aug 7, 2026 · 76
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Staff for Mitch McConnell assured the nation that the Kentucky senator had been dropped off at a nice farm in the country where he ...

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Man Unsure Whether Wife's Vanilla Honey Goat Butter Spread Is For Toast Or Face - Article image
Life · Aug 7, 2026 · 62
Man Unsure Whether Wife's Vanilla Honey Goat Butter Spread Is For Toast Or Face

DALLAS, TX - Local husband Mark Higgins stood frozen in his kitchen Thursday morning, staring blankly at a glass jar labeled "Vanilla Honey Goat Butte...
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Burritos are really, really expensive these days, apparently. But fear not - there are still ways to get them without having to shell out $20 a pop. Y...
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Family · May 19, 2026 · 59
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids

OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Trump Meets With Zelenskyy To Ask For U.S. Missiles - Article image
World · Aug 7, 2026 · 65
Trump Meets With Zelenskyy To Ask For U.S. Missiles

KYIV - President Donald Trump scheduled an emergency trip to Ukraine to ask President Zelenskyy for American missiles.

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What Your Pastor's Pulpit Says About His Theology - Article image
Church · Nov 7, 2017 · 25
What Your Pastor's Pulpit Says About His Theology

Show us a pulpit, and you've shown us everything we need to know about its pastor. In fact, our panel of theology experts on staff at The Babylon Bee ...
GOOD NEWS: A Beloved Franchise Of Yours Is Becoming A Movie Or Show BAD NEWS: It's 2026 - Article image
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Dems To Hold June 9th Hearings To Get To The Bottom Of Why No One Watched Jan. 6th Hearings - Article image
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How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition - Article image
Premium · Jun 15, 2026 · 72
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition

Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
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Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom - Article image
Premium · May 19, 2026 · 96
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom

As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
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Premium · May 18, 2026 · 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492

Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...

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In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible
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