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Chicago Teacher Asks Students To Please Raise Their Hands Instead Of Firing Pistols Into The Air - Article image
U.S. · Sep 4, 2026 · 9
Chicago Teacher Asks Students To Please Raise Their Hands Instead Of Firing Pistols Into The Air

CHICAGO, IL - A fifth-grade teacher at Lincoln Elementary reportedly admonished her classroom on Thursday, asking the kids to please raise their hands...

Progressive Church To Allow Mail-In Attendance - Article image
Church · Sep 3, 2026 · 66
Progressive Church To Allow Mail-In Attendance

PORTLAND, ME - Progressive local church First United Methodist of Portland announced that it would now be offering a mail-in attendance option for its...

Powerful: Gloria Steinem Refuses To Allow Satan To Hold Door To Hell Open For Her - Article image
Celebs · Sep 3, 2026 · 64
Powerful: Gloria Steinem Refuses To Allow Satan To Hold Door To Hell Open For Her

HELL - Feminist icon Gloria Steinem refused to allow Satan to hold the door open for her on the way into hell, in what many are calling her final act ...
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity - Featured article image
U.S. · Sep 4, 2026 · 24

U.S. - The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.

Adventurous Connoisseur Samples The Exotic Delicacies Of The Far East At Local Chinese Buffet - Article image
Culture · Sep 3, 2026 · 78
Adventurous Connoisseur Samples The Exotic Delicacies Of The Far East At Local Chinese Buffet

PEMBROKE PINES, FL - An adventurous connoisseur with an eye for rare edible treasures was reportedly eager to sample the exotic delicacies of the Far ...

Culture · Sep 3, 2026 · 78
Adventurous Connoisseur Samples The Exotic Delicacies Of The Far East At Local Chinese Buffet

Adventurous Connoisseur Samples The Exotic Delicacies Of The Far East At Local Chinese Buffet - Featured article image
PEMBROKE PINES, FL - An adventurous connoisseur with an eye for rare edible treasures was reportedly eager to sample the exotic delicacies of the Far ...
Powerful: Gloria Steinem Refuses To Allow Satan To Hold Door To Hell Open For Her - Article image
Celebs · Sep 3, 2026 · 64
Powerful: Gloria Steinem Refuses To Allow Satan To Hold Door To Hell Open For Her

HELL - Feminist icon Gloria Steinem refused to allow Satan to hold the door open for her on the way into hell, in what many are calling her final act ...

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Supreme Court Rules Democrats Must Steal Elections In Person

Aug 24, 2026 | Jesus defeated death so you can live


Atheist Parents Ask Family Friend To Be Their Kids’ Nothingfather

Aug 26, 2026 | The Bat Knight


Apple Announces New IPhone Will Exist Entirely In The Cloud

Aug 27, 2026 | T e e j

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Pete Hegseth Sets Up 'Help Us Buy Missiles' Lemonade Stand - Article image
Pete Hegseth Sets Up 'Help Us Buy Missiles' Lemonade Stand
U.S. · Sep 3, 2026 · 45
Sauron Insists He Only Tried To Enslave All Of Middle-Earth Because He Was Suffering From Postpartum Depression - Article image
Sauron Insists He Only Tried To Enslave All Of Middle-Earth Because He Was Suffering From Postpartum Depression
Health · Sep 2, 2026 · 39
Trump Warns Iran Next Truth Social Post Will Include Even More Exclamation Marks - Article image
Trump Warns Iran Next Truth Social Post Will Include Even More Exclamation Marks
Politics · Sep 2, 2026 · 44
Pastor Torn Between Preaching God's Eternal Word Or Playing Another Movie Clip - Article image
Pastor Torn Between Preaching God's Eternal Word Or Playing Another Movie Clip
Church · Sep 2, 2026 · 47
Babylon Bee Writers Devastated As AOC Announces She Will Never Date A Conservative - Article image
Babylon Bee Writers Devastated As AOC Announces She Will Never Date A Conservative
The Babylon Bee · Sep 2, 2026 · 79
Nation Proposes Repealing 19th Amendment But Just For Women Who Support Lindsay Clancy - Article image
Nation Proposes Repealing 19th Amendment But Just For Women Who Support Lindsay Clancy
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The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang - Article image
The Bee Explains · Sep 2, 2026 · 187
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang

Connecting with the older folk can be a challenge, especially when you have a hard time understanding what they're saying. But don't worry, if you put...
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian - Article image
Sports · Sep 3, 2026 · 83
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian

JUPITER, FL - A Florida court suspended golf legend Tiger Woods' driver's license for five years after an investigation determined that he is half-Asi...
Sad: Kathy Hochul Tries To Warn People Republicans Will Take Away Women's Rights, But Her Mouth Is Covered By Hijab - Article image
Politics · Sep 3, 2026 · 57
Sad: Kathy Hochul Tries To Warn People Republicans Will Take Away Women's Rights, But Her Mouth Is Covered By Hijab

NEW YORK, NY - Governor Kathy Hochul desperately tried to warn New Yorkers that Republicans were taking away women's rights, but no one in the room co...
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam - Article image
Education · Sep 1, 2026 · 77
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam

MEDINA, OH - In a terribly unlucky break, local sixth-grader Mackenzie Warner completely flunked her geography test after President Trump renamed ever...

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Satan Wondering If He Went Too Far With Feminism - Article image
Worldviews · Sep 1, 2026 · 75
Satan Wondering If He Went Too Far With Feminism

HELL - The Prince of Darkness admitted he may have made a big mistake, as Satan reportedly wondered if he had gone too far when he orchestrated the mo...
Lindsay Clancy Surges To Commanding Lead As 2028 Democrat Front-Runner - Article image
Politics · Sep 1, 2026 · 70
Lindsay Clancy Surges To Commanding Lead As 2028 Democrat Front-Runner

U.S. - New poll numbers released this week showed Lindsay Clancy surging into the frontrunner position in the race to become the 2028 Democratic presi...
Toddler Puts Self Up For Adoption After Seeing Mom Scrolling Lindsay Clancy TikTok - Article image
U.S. · Sep 2, 2026 · 62
Toddler Puts Self Up For Adoption After Seeing Mom Scrolling Lindsay Clancy TikTok

DANBURY, CT - According to sources, a toddler has reportedly put herself up for adoption after witnessing her mother scrolling through Lindsay Clancy ...
God Decides To Flood Earth Again After KFC Releases Oreo Chicken Sandwich - Article image
Christian Living · Sep 2, 2026 · 84
God Decides To Flood Earth Again After KFC Releases Oreo Chicken Sandwich

HEAVEN - Heavenly sources report that the Lord has decided it is once again time to wipe out most of humanity after Kentucky Fried Chicken released th...

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Really Interesting Theological Discussion Ruined By Someone Pulling Out A Bible Verse - Article image
Theology · Jul 2, 2020 · 95
Really Interesting Theological Discussion Ruined By Someone Pulling Out A Bible Verse

PALM BEACH, FL - Some friends were having a thought-provoking theological discussion, diving deep into the possible nature of God and of the afte...
American Cancer Society Recommends Getting Your Nation Checked For Communism Annually - Article image
American Cancer Society Recommends Getting Your Nation Checked For Communism Annually
Health · Apr 13, 2018 · 5
New York Times Praises Soviet Union For Unprecedented Gender Equality In Labor Camps - Article image
New York Times Praises Soviet Union For Unprecedented Gender Equality In Labor Camps
Politics · Jul 22, 2019 · 7
Biden Opens State Of The Union By Saying Hello To Dianne Feinstein - Article image
Biden Opens State Of The Union By Saying Hello To Dianne Feinstein
Politics · Mar 7, 2024 · 89
Kid Sadly Realizes He's Too Intelligent To Ever Become President One Day - Article image
Kid Sadly Realizes He's Too Intelligent To Ever Become President One Day
Politics · Mar 28, 2023 · 88
Democrats Push To Keep Schools Closed So Kids Will Be Dumb Enough To Accept Socialism - Article image
Democrats Push To Keep Schools Closed So Kids Will Be Dumb Enough To Accept Socialism
Politics · Nov 20, 2020 · 62
Dad Attends Back-To-School Night To Learn What Grade His Kid Is In - Article image
Dad Attends Back-To-School Night To Learn What Grade His Kid Is In
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Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project - Article image
Premium · Aug 31, 2026 · 71
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project

Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed - Article image
Premium · Aug 27, 2026 · 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed

The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines - Article image
Premium · Aug 24, 2026 · 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines

Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
Okay, Subscribers: What Sort Of Premium Content Would You Like To See? - Article image
Premium · Aug 18, 2026 · 142
Okay, Subscribers: What Sort Of Premium Content Would You Like To See?

A good morning to you all, our fearless band of intrepid subscribers!

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Entertainment · Feb 24, 2019 · 30
Girlfriend Keeps Referring To Herself As 'Wife-Elect' Despite No Official Word From Boyfriend - Article image
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Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics - Article image
Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics
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