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'Who’s Laughing Now?' Says Covid Toilet Paper Hoarder After Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak - Article image
Life · Jul 18, 2026 · 46
'Who’s Laughing Now?' Says Covid Toilet Paper Hoarder After Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak

LANSING, MI - Six years after friends and neighbors mercilessly mocked him for filling his garage with industrial-sized towers of toilet paper during ...

Netflix Announces New Animated Film 'Bro-Country Demon Hunters' - Article image
Entertainment · Jul 18, 2026 · 61
Netflix Announces New Animated Film 'Bro-Country Demon Hunters'

U.S. - Hoping to piggyback off of their smash hit "K-Pop Demon Hunters," Netflix has announced a new animated film coming in fall 2026 titled "Bro-Cou...

10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir - Article image
Politics · Jul 15, 2026 · 186
10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir

At long last, the wait is over - President Joe Biden has written a memoir about his time in the White House. The book, titled Promise Me, America, wil...
Democrats Say They Are Perfectly Capable Of Rigging Elections Without Any Help From China
Democrats Say They Are Perfectly Capable Of Rigging Elections Without Any Help From China
Democrats Say They Are Perfectly Capable Of Rigging Elections Without Any Help From China - Featured article image
Politics · Jul 17, 2026 · 69

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Democrats disputed claims that China interfered in the 2020 U.S. election, declaring that they are perfectly capable of rigging ele...

Taco Bell Releases New Imodium A-D Sauce Packets To Combat Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak - Article image
Health · Jul 17, 2026 · 70
Taco Bell Releases New Imodium A-D Sauce Packets To Combat Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak

U.S. - Fast-food giant Taco Bell introduced Imodium A-D sauce packets to help customers combat the explosive diarrhea caused by consuming the restaura...

Health · Jul 17, 2026 · 70
Taco Bell Releases New Imodium A-D Sauce Packets To Combat Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak

Taco Bell Releases New Imodium A-D Sauce Packets To Combat Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak - Featured article image
U.S. - Fast-food giant Taco Bell introduced Imodium A-D sauce packets to help customers combat the explosive diarrhea caused by consuming the restaura...
10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir - Article image
Politics · Jul 15, 2026 · 186
10 Rejected Titles For Biden’s New Memoir

At long last, the wait is over - President Joe Biden has written a memoir about his time in the White House. The book, titled Promise Me, America, wil...

Subscriber Headlines

England’s Soccer Team Suffers Second Defeat By Having To Return To England

Jul 15, 2026 | T e e j


After Googling His Symptoms, Man Devastated To Learn He Died Last Tuesday

Jul 14, 2026 | T e e j


Trump Gets NATO Allies To Commit To Helping Replenish Depleted US Beer Supply

Jul 11, 2026 | jerickson

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Iran Foils New Bombing Attack By Disguising Itself With A Giant 'Q' - Article image
Iran Foils New Bombing Attack By Disguising Itself With A Giant 'Q'
World · Jul 18, 2026 · 55
Plane Crashes After No One Tells The Passengers To 'Fly Safe' - Article image
Plane Crashes After No One Tells The Passengers To 'Fly Safe'
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Civil Engineer Really Starting To Regret Building City On Rock & Roll - Article image
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Christopher Nolan Criticized For Not Depicting Trojan Horse As Historically Accurate Large Wooden Rabbit - Article image
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Idaho Builds Border Wall Out Of Potatoes To Keep Out Californians - Article image
Idaho Builds Border Wall Out Of Potatoes To Keep Out Californians
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Brilliant Politician JD Vance Secures Vote Of 100% Of Nation’s Tucker Carlsons - Article image
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CNN Poll Shows 125% Of Americans Don’t Believe Trump’s Claim Of Election Fraud - Article image
Politics · Jul 17, 2026 · 74
CNN Poll Shows 125% Of Americans Don’t Believe Trump’s Claim Of Election Fraud

ATLANTA, GA - President Donald Trump's national address on election integrity may have fallen on deaf ears, according to a new CNN poll that shows 125...
‪Hegseth Orders Any Military Personnel With Low Testosterone Be Transferred To The Navy‬ - Article image
U.S. · Jul 16, 2026 · 69
‪Hegseth Orders Any Military Personnel With Low Testosterone Be Transferred To The Navy‬

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of War Pete Hegseth issued a new order that any military member who is discovered to have low testosterone be immediately...
Man Who Ate At Taco Bell Getting More Baja Blast Than He Bargained For - Article image
Health · Jul 17, 2026 · 57
Man Who Ate At Taco Bell Getting More Baja Blast Than He Bargained For

DOWNEY, CA - According to witnesses, a man eating at Taco Bell received quite a bit more Baja Blast than he had been counting on.
Texas Approves Death Penalty For Anyone Who Starts An Email With 'Happy Monday, Team!' - Article image
Business · Jul 17, 2026 · 39
Texas Approves Death Penalty For Anyone Who Starts An Email With 'Happy Monday, Team!'

AUSTIN, TX - Governor Greg Abbott signed into law this morning a new measure that would impose the death penalty on anyone who begins an email with "H...

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Explosive Diarrhea Epidemic Traced To Gain-Of-Function Lab At Taco Bell Institute - Article image
Health · Jul 15, 2026 · 65
Explosive Diarrhea Epidemic Traced To Gain-Of-Function Lab At Taco Bell Institute

IRVINE, CA - Though initial reports indicated that the recent cyclosporiasis outbreak had happened naturally through people consuming produce contamin...
National Park Service Reminds Americans Not To Approach Bison, But If You Do, Make Sure Someone Captures A Hilarious Video Of It - Article image
Life · Jul 16, 2026 · 55
National Park Service Reminds Americans Not To Approach Bison, But If You Do, Make Sure Someone Captures A Hilarious Video Of It

U.S. - The U.S. National Park Service issued a reminder to avoid approaching the bison inside national parks, but if you do, to please be sure that so...
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids - Article image
Family · May 19, 2026 · 51
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids

OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Cockroach Maintains Composure Despite Making Contact With Journalist - Article image
Media · Jul 16, 2026 · 69
Cockroach Maintains Composure Despite Making Contact With Journalist

SHERMAN OAKS, CA - A local cockroach somehow maintained his composure on camera despite unexpectedly making contact with a journalist.

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10 Famous Quotes From History As Reported By The Associated Press - Article image
Media · Sep 8, 2024 · 145
10 Famous Quotes From History As Reported By The Associated Press

As everyone knows, the Associated Press is 100% trustworthy in every single quote they have ever covered. It truly seems like they are the only ones, ...
Rioters Shocked To See Chick-fil-A Employees Working Inside Burning Restaurant Are Unhurt By Flames - Article image
Rioters Shocked To See Chick-fil-A Employees Working Inside Burning Restaurant Are Unhurt By Flames
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Sad: Ilhan Omar Tells Brother It's Time They Start Seeing Other Siblings - Article image
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Compromise Reached: Everyone Still Afraid Of COVID Will Be Locked Down, Everyone Else Will Live Lives As Normal - Article image
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Tragic: Rabid Stephen Colbert Forced To Be Put Down - Article image
Tragic: Rabid Stephen Colbert Forced To Be Put Down
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Man Wakes Up From Awesome Dream Where He Was On 'Jeopardy' And The Final Clue Was 'This Monkey-Lizard Creature Sat Next To Jabba The Hutt And Served As His Laughing Jester' - Article image
Man Wakes Up From Awesome Dream Where He Was On 'Jeopardy' And The Final Clue Was 'This Monkey-Lizard Creature Sat Next To Jabba The Hutt And Served As His Laughing Jester'
Life · Aug 22, 2024 · 111
Whoopi Goldberg Says America Should Ignore War In Ukraine As It’s Just Two Groups Of White People Fighting - Article image
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How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition - Article image
Premium · Jun 15, 2026 · 71
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition

Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring? - Article image
Premium · May 25, 2026 · 39
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?

Hey, Bee family!
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom - Article image
Premium · May 19, 2026 · 96
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom

As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492 - Article image
Premium · May 18, 2026 · 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492

Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...

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Bible Experts Determine Goliath Died Of COVID-19 - Article image
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New Version Of 'Operation' Just Has Players Use Essential Oils Instead Of Performing A Medical Procedure - Article image
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Trump Says To Drink Lots Of Water, Media Reports He Told Everyone To Drown Themselves - Article image
Trump Says To Drink Lots Of Water, Media Reports He Told Everyone To Drown Themselves
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Trump Announces He Has Hidden 5 Golden Tickets Among Stimulus Checks - Article image
Trump Announces He Has Hidden 5 Golden Tickets Among Stimulus Checks
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