Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Videos Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Videos
Newsletter
Shop Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Videos Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop Search
Skip to main content
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut - Article image
Sports · Sep 5, 2026 · 23
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut

TUSCALOOSA, AL - After putting on a superb performance in the season opener, young college football star Davis Mack began worrying that he could wind ...

Nation Votes To Remove Massachusetts - Article image
U.S. · Sep 5, 2026 · 37
Nation Votes To Remove Massachusetts

WASHINGTON, D.C. - American voters overwhelmingly passed a federal ballot initiative yesterday ordering the removal of Massachusetts from the United S...

Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance - Article image
Politics · Sep 4, 2026 · 54
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance

NEW YORK, NY - New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparatio...
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God
Breaking: Justice Still In The Hands Of God - Featured article image
Theology · Sep 5, 2026 · 35

U.S. - As news broke that the murder trial of Lindsay Clancy would end in a mistrial, Heaven released a statement reminding everyone that justice is s...

Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over - Article image
Scripture · Sep 4, 2026 · 58
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over

JUDEA - In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy tim...

Scripture · Sep 4, 2026 · 58
Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over

Oh No! Peter Forgives Neighbor 73 Times, But Then Lost Count And Now He’s Got To Start Over - Featured article image
JUDEA - In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy tim...
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance - Article image
Politics · Sep 4, 2026 · 54
Mayor Mamdani Up All Night Practicing Sad Face For Upcoming 9/11 Observance

NEW YORK, NY - New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparatio...

Subscriber Headlines

'Grand Theft Auto' Maker Rockstar Games Sues California For Stealing Their Idea Of Open-World Crime And Chaos

Aug 28, 2026 | TwoDegreesOff


Target Apologize For Selling Cotton Clothes As It Might Remind People Of Slavery

Aug 27, 2026 | ironsakura


Spain To Deport Citizens Protesting Illegal Immigration

Sep 3, 2026 | AmirFauda

Visit Forum


Latest

View All
Hollywood Colorist Fired After Accidentally Leaving Color In Film - Article image
Hollywood Colorist Fired After Accidentally Leaving Color In Film
Entertainment · Sep 4, 2026 · 54
Bari Weiss Facing Credible Allegations Of Doing Journalism - Article image
Bari Weiss Facing Credible Allegations Of Doing Journalism
Media · Sep 4, 2026 · 49
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans - Article image
Trump Renames The Montreal Canadiens As The Montreal Americans
Sports · Sep 4, 2026 · 44
Chicago Teacher Asks Students To Please Raise Their Hands Instead Of Firing Pistols Into The Air - Article image
Chicago Teacher Asks Students To Please Raise Their Hands Instead Of Firing Pistols Into The Air
U.S. · Sep 4, 2026 · 55
Powerful: Gloria Steinem Refuses To Allow Satan To Hold Door To Hell Open For Her - Article image
Powerful: Gloria Steinem Refuses To Allow Satan To Hold Door To Hell Open For Her
Celebs · Sep 3, 2026 · 70
Adventurous Connoisseur Samples The Exotic Delicacies Of The Far East At Local Chinese Buffet - Article image
Adventurous Connoisseur Samples The Exotic Delicacies Of The Far East At Local Chinese Buffet
Culture · Sep 3, 2026 · 86

Buzzing

View All
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang - Article image
The Bee Explains · Sep 2, 2026 · 190
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang

Connecting with the older folk can be a challenge, especially when you have a hard time understanding what they're saying. But don't worry, if you put...
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity - Article image
U.S. · Sep 4, 2026 · 67
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity

U.S. - The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian - Article image
Sports · Sep 3, 2026 · 86
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian

JUPITER, FL - A Florida court suspended golf legend Tiger Woods' driver's license for five years after an investigation determined that he is half-Asi...
Sad: Kathy Hochul Tries To Warn People Republicans Will Take Away Women's Rights, But Her Mouth Is Covered By Hijab - Article image
Politics · Sep 3, 2026 · 62
Sad: Kathy Hochul Tries To Warn People Republicans Will Take Away Women's Rights, But Her Mouth Is Covered By Hijab

NEW YORK, NY - Governor Kathy Hochul desperately tried to warn New Yorkers that Republicans were taking away women's rights, but no one in the room co...

Must Read

Progressive Church To Allow Mail-In Attendance - Article image
Church · Sep 3, 2026 · 69
Progressive Church To Allow Mail-In Attendance

PORTLAND, ME - Progressive local church First United Methodist of Portland announced that it would now be offering a mail-in attendance option for its...
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam - Article image
Education · Sep 1, 2026 · 77
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam

MEDINA, OH - In a terribly unlucky break, local sixth-grader Mackenzie Warner completely flunked her geography test after President Trump renamed ever...
Sauron Insists He Only Tried To Enslave All Of Middle-Earth Because He Was Suffering From Postpartum Depression - Article image
Health · Sep 2, 2026 · 43
Sauron Insists He Only Tried To Enslave All Of Middle-Earth Because He Was Suffering From Postpartum Depression

BARAD-DÛR, MORDOR - Accused of attempting to enslave all the free peoples of Middle-earth and cover the land with darkness, the Dark Lord Sauron expla...
Satan Wondering If He Went Too Far With Feminism - Article image
Worldviews · Sep 1, 2026 · 76
Satan Wondering If He Went Too Far With Feminism

HELL - The Prince of Darkness admitted he may have made a big mistake, as Satan reportedly wondered if he had gone too far when he orchestrated the mo...

Don't Miss

Bernie Sanders Yelling At Kids To Get Off His Many, Many Lawns - Article image
Politics · Mar 2, 2020 · 7
Bernie Sanders Yelling At Kids To Get Off His Many, Many Lawns

U.S. - Presidential candidates often struggle to juggle their busy campaign schedules with their personal lives, and this is especially true of Bernie...
'What A Good Little Kitty You Are,' Owner Says To Cat Who Is Currently Plotting Her Violent Death - Article image
'What A Good Little Kitty You Are,' Owner Says To Cat Who Is Currently Plotting Her Violent Death
Life · Jun 23, 2026 · 59
We Asked 13 Evangelical Leaders What Their New Year's Resolutions Were, And Here's What They Said - Article image
We Asked 13 Evangelical Leaders What Their New Year's Resolutions Were, And Here's What They Said
Christian Living · Jan 2, 2024 · 152
Man Stands Perfectly Still During Church Greeting Time In Attempt To Avoid Detection - Article image
Man Stands Perfectly Still During Church Greeting Time In Attempt To Avoid Detection
Church · Aug 24, 2018 · 9
Study Finds Babylon Bee More Accurate Than 100% Of Pollsters - Article image
Study Finds Babylon Bee More Accurate Than 100% Of Pollsters
Politics · Nov 5, 2020 · 40
8 Possible Names For MSNBC's Exciting New Rebrand - Article image
8 Possible Names For MSNBC's Exciting New Rebrand
Media · Aug 19, 2025 · 95
Drama Still Tragically Following Local Woman Who Just Hates Drama - Article image
Drama Still Tragically Following Local Woman Who Just Hates Drama
Local · Sep 7, 2016 · 13

Premium Content

View All
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project - Article image
Premium · Aug 31, 2026 · 73
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project

Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed - Article image
Premium · Aug 27, 2026 · 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed

The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines - Article image
Premium · Aug 24, 2026 · 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines

Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
Okay, Subscribers: What Sort Of Premium Content Would You Like To See? - Article image
Premium · Aug 18, 2026 · 142
Okay, Subscribers: What Sort Of Premium Content Would You Like To See?

A good morning to you all, our fearless band of intrepid subscribers!

Greatest Hits

View All
Jill Biden Drops Out Of Presidential Race - Article image
Jill Biden Drops Out Of Presidential Race
Politics · Jul 21, 2024 · 136
Answer These 3 Simple Questions And We'll Assign You A PERFECT Life Verse - Article image
Answer These 3 Simple Questions And We'll Assign You A PERFECT Life Verse
Christian Living · Apr 18, 2017 · 63
Californians Brace For Deadly 50-Degree Cold Front - Article image
Californians Brace For Deadly 50-Degree Cold Front
Health · Jan 31, 2019 · 45
Bernie Sanders Asks Nation To Please Stop Mailing Him Books On Economics - Article image
Bernie Sanders Asks Nation To Please Stop Mailing Him Books On Economics
Politics · Jul 5, 2018 · 9
FBI Hires Top-Rated Italian Bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli To Protect Ghislaine Maxwell - Article image
FBI Hires Top-Rated Italian Bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli To Protect Ghislaine Maxwell
Politics · Jul 2, 2020 · 71
Panic Erupts On Flight As Captain Of Female Crew Announces That 'Everything's Fine' - Article image
Panic Erupts On Flight As Captain Of Female Crew Announces That 'Everything's Fine'
U.S. · Mar 5, 2023 · 184

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy
  • Donate

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2026 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.