Sports
· Sep 5, 2026
· 10
College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut
TUSCALOOSA, AL - After putting on a superb performance in the season opener, young college football star Davis Mack began worrying that he could wind ...
U.S.
· Sep 5, 2026
· 19
Nation Votes To Remove Massachusetts
WASHINGTON, D.C. - American voters overwhelmingly passed a federal ballot initiative yesterday ordering the removal of Massachusetts from the United S...
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The Bee Explains
· Sep 2, 2026
· 190
The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang
Connecting with the older folk can be a challenge, especially when you have a hard time understanding what they're saying. But don't worry, if you put...
U.S.
· Sep 4, 2026
· 65
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity
U.S. - The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
Sports
· Sep 3, 2026
· 86
Tiger Woods’ License Suspended After Court Determines He Is Half-Asian
JUPITER, FL - A Florida court suspended golf legend Tiger Woods' driver's license for five years after an investigation determined that he is half-Asi...
Politics
· Sep 3, 2026
· 62
Sad: Kathy Hochul Tries To Warn People Republicans Will Take Away Women's Rights, But Her Mouth Is Covered By Hijab
NEW YORK, NY - Governor Kathy Hochul desperately tried to warn New Yorkers that Republicans were taking away women's rights, but no one in the room co...
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Church
· Sep 3, 2026
· 69
Progressive Church To Allow Mail-In Attendance
PORTLAND, ME - Progressive local church First United Methodist of Portland announced that it would now be offering a mail-in attendance option for its...
Education
· Sep 1, 2026
· 77
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam
MEDINA, OH - In a terribly unlucky break, local sixth-grader Mackenzie Warner completely flunked her geography test after President Trump renamed ever...
Health
· Sep 2, 2026
· 43
Sauron Insists He Only Tried To Enslave All Of Middle-Earth Because He Was Suffering From Postpartum Depression
BARAD-DÛR, MORDOR - Accused of attempting to enslave all the free peoples of Middle-earth and cover the land with darkness, the Dark Lord Sauron expla...
Worldviews
· Sep 1, 2026
· 75
Satan Wondering If He Went Too Far With Feminism
HELL - The Prince of Darkness admitted he may have made a big mistake, as Satan reportedly wondered if he had gone too far when he orchestrated the mo...
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· Aug 31, 2026
· 73
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
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· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
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· Aug 24, 2026
· 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines
Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
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· Aug 18, 2026
· 142
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