Politics
· Aug 7, 2026
· 56
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Staff for Mitch McConnell assured the nation that the Kentucky senator had been dropped off at a nice farm in the country where he ...
Life
· Aug 7, 2026
· 49
Man Unsure Whether Wife's Vanilla Honey Goat Butter Spread Is For Toast Or Face
DALLAS, TX - Local husband Mark Higgins stood frozen in his kitchen Thursday morning, staring blankly at a glass jar labeled "Vanilla Honey Goat Butte...
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Economy
· Aug 6, 2026
· 96
7 Hacks To Obtain A Burrito For Less Than $20
Burritos are really, really expensive these days, apparently. But fear not - there are still ways to get them without having to shell out $20 a pop. Y...
U.S.
· Aug 6, 2026
· 64
Senate Joins Rest Of Nation In Holding Fauci In Contempt
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A committee from the United States Senate announced today that they were finally joining the rest of the nation in holding Anthony ...
World
· Aug 7, 2026
· 64
Trump Meets With Zelenskyy To Ask For U.S. Missiles
KYIV - President Donald Trump scheduled an emergency trip to Ukraine to ask President Zelenskyy for American missiles.
Church
· Aug 4, 2026
· 153
Tell Us What Kind Of Coffee Your Church Serves And We'll Tell You What Denomination You Are
All churches that truly love Jesus serve coffee, but did you know that you can actually tell what denomination a church is by what coffee it serves?
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U.S.
· Aug 6, 2026
· 70
Due To Depleted Missile Supply, 'Operation Epic Fury' Downgraded To 'Operation Mildly Aggressive Fury'
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Due to a reportedly depleted supply of ballistic missiles following months of bombardment, military officials confirmed this week t...
Politics
· Aug 5, 2026
· 64
Democrats Celebrate El-Sayed Victory By Firing AK-47s Into The Air
DETROIT, MI - Following the controversial candidate's primary win in last night's Michigan Senate primary, joyous Democrats celebrated Abdul Al-Sayed'...
Family
· May 19, 2026
· 59
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids
OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
U.S.
· Aug 5, 2026
· 54
Middle East Expanded To Include Michigan
DETROIT, MI - Following the Senate primary victory won last night by Abdul El-Sayed, an official announcement was issued that the Middle East had expa...
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Premium
· Jun 15, 2026
· 72
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition
Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
Premium
· May 25, 2026
· 40
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?
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· May 19, 2026
· 96
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom
As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Premium
· May 18, 2026
· 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492
Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
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