Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Bee Minus Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Bee Minus
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Bee Minus Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop
Search
Skip to main content
San Francisco Celebrates St. Patrick’s Day By Adding Green Dye To Sidewalk Poop - Article image
U.S. · Mar 17, 2026 · 75
San Francisco Celebrates St. Patrick’s Day By Adding Green Dye To Sidewalk Poop

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Just in time for St. Patrick's Day, San Francisco officials spared no expense in dyeing all the poop on the city's sidewalks green...

John Thune Vows To Bring SAVE Act Up For Vote As Soon As He's Sure It Won't Pass - Article image
Politics · Mar 17, 2026 · 56
John Thune Vows To Bring SAVE Act Up For Vote As Soon As He's Sure It Won't Pass

WASHINGTON, D.C. - With Americans pressing their senators and representatives to take action to secure elections, Senate Majority Leader John Thune vo...

Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud - Article image
Theology · Mar 17, 2026 · 71
Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud

HADES - Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting "LOL" to...
Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff
Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff
Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff - Featured article image
World · Mar 17, 2026 · 69

TEHRAN - At President Donald Trump's direction, the U.S. military successfully took out Iran's new gay supreme leader by luring him out of his bunker ...

Mom Frustrated As Kids Once Again Devour Groceries Before Getting Home From Store - Article image
Family · Mar 17, 2026 · 48
Mom Frustrated As Kids Once Again Devour Groceries Before Getting Home From Store

LINCOLN, NE - Local mom Clara Gibbons expressed dismay upon discovering that her children had once again eaten all the groceries that were in the trun...

Family · Mar 17, 2026 · 48
Mom Frustrated As Kids Once Again Devour Groceries Before Getting Home From Store

Mom Frustrated As Kids Once Again Devour Groceries Before Getting Home From Store - Featured article image
LINCOLN, NE - Local mom Clara Gibbons expressed dismay upon discovering that her children had once again eaten all the groceries that were in the trun...
Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud - Article image
Theology · Mar 17, 2026 · 71
Man Condemned To Hell For Texting 'LOL' When He Didn't Really Laugh Out Loud

HADES - Demons happily welcomed 27-year-old Jim Carole to Hell on Tuesday after he was immediately condemned to eternal damnation for texting "LOL" to...

Subscriber Headlines

Parent Kind Of Scared To Ask Her Kid What He Learned At School Today

Mar 12, 2026 | Colton Man of Gondor


Mamdani Institutes ‘Burqa Thursdays’

Mar 5, 2026 | Execglobal


Humiliated! Five-Year Old Child Not Even An Activist Yet

Mar 5, 2026 | TwoDegreesOff

Visit Forum


Latest

View All
Spirit Unveils New All-Duct Tape Aircraft - Article image
Spirit Unveils New All-Duct Tape Aircraft
U.S. · Mar 17, 2026 · 61
Pedro Pascal Named Oscars' Best Dressed Woman - Article image
Pedro Pascal Named Oscars' Best Dressed Woman
Entertainment · Mar 16, 2026 · 42
Wise Dad Prepares Son For Life's Challenges By Having Him Play 'Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!' - Article image
Wise Dad Prepares Son For Life's Challenges By Having Him Play 'Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!'
Family · Mar 16, 2026 · 44
‘Sinners’ Wins Oscar For Crappiest Movie To Win Oscar - Article image
‘Sinners’ Wins Oscar For Crappiest Movie To Win Oscar
Entertainment · Mar 15, 2026 · 67
Trump Snubbed Again At Oscars For Role In 'Home Alone 2' - Article image
Trump Snubbed Again At Oscars For Role In 'Home Alone 2'
Media · Mar 15, 2026 · 51
Holes In 7-Year-Old's Game Exposed As Dad Delivers Epic Beatdown - Article image
Holes In 7-Year-Old's Game Exposed As Dad Delivers Epic Beatdown
Sports · Mar 15, 2026 · 51

Buzzing

View All
9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay - Article image
World · Mar 16, 2026 · 85
9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay

In addition to reports that he was seriously injured in airstrikes at the onset of the U.S.-Iran conflict, new rumors arose this week that the newly c...
Ayatollah Disappointed To Learn 72 Virgins Awaiting Him In Paradise Are All Women - Article image
World · Mar 16, 2026 · 91
Ayatollah Disappointed To Learn 72 Virgins Awaiting Him In Paradise Are All Women

TEHRAN - With rumors about his sexual preferences circulating amid the ongoing military conflict ravaging his country, the new Ayatollah Mojtaba Khame...
'New York Times' Retracts Story Due To Several Accuracies - Article image
Media · Mar 16, 2026 · 77
'New York Times' Retracts Story Due To Several Accuracies

NEW YORK, NY - The recent string of embarrassing incidents involving popular media outlets continued on Monday, as The New York Times was forced to re...
'Jim Crow 2.0!' Shouts Chuck Schumer While Being Escorted Out Of Costco For Not Having Membership Card - Article image
Politics · Mar 16, 2026 · 64
'Jim Crow 2.0!' Shouts Chuck Schumer While Being Escorted Out Of Costco For Not Having Membership Card

ALEXANDRIA, VA - Senator Chuck Schumer was seen struggling with Costco security guards after failing to show his membership card at the entrance of th...

Must Read

'It's Just A Flesh Wound!' Says Legless Torso Of Iranian Ayatollah - Article image
World · Mar 14, 2026 · 93
'It's Just A Flesh Wound!' Says Legless Torso Of Iranian Ayatollah

TEHRAN - The legless torso of newly-appointed Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei assured the world that the loss of his legs in battle was "just a flesh wound...
10 Christmas Gift Ideas For Your Leftist Child - Article image
Sponsored · Dec 15, 2021 · 174
10 Christmas Gift Ideas For Your Leftist Child

First off, congratulations on raising a child already versed in progressive ideals! Your Christmas holiday is sure to be filled with joy, laughter, fe...
Bill Clinton Selflessly Volunteers To Help Short-Staffed TSA With Pat Downs - Article image
U.S. · Mar 14, 2026 · 86
Bill Clinton Selflessly Volunteers To Help Short-Staffed TSA With Pat Downs

CHAPPAQUA, NY - With TSA suffering severe staffing shortages amid a halt in pay, former President Bill Clinton has volunteered to lend a hand patting ...
Media: No Motive Yet In Attack On Jewish Synagogue By Radical Muslim - Article image
U.S. · Mar 13, 2026 · 108
Media: No Motive Yet In Attack On Jewish Synagogue By Radical Muslim

U.S. - With the nation reeling from an outbreak of violent incidents in the wake of the U.S. military strikes against Iran, the media clarified that t...

Don't Miss

It Is Perfectly OK For Public Servants To Be Christians, As Long As They Do Not Believe Christian Things - Article image
Op-Ed · Jun 9, 2017 · 13
It Is Perfectly OK For Public Servants To Be Christians, As Long As They Do Not Believe Christian Things

With my gratitude to The Babylon Bee for allowing me their platform, I would like to clarify a few things about my recent interrogation of Russel...
Clarence The Angel Takes Gavin Newsom To Florida To Show Him What California Would Look Like If He'd Never Been Born - Article image
Clarence The Angel Takes Gavin Newsom To Florida To Show Him What California Would Look Like If He'd Never Been Born
U.S. · Dec 16, 2023 · 166
Ketanji Brown Jackson Warns Right To Free Speech Could Lead To People Speaking Freely - Article image
Ketanji Brown Jackson Warns Right To Free Speech Could Lead To People Speaking Freely
U.S. · Mar 18, 2024 · 145
Dodgers Bankrupted As Trump Places 25% Tariff On Japanese Players - Article image
Dodgers Bankrupted As Trump Places 25% Tariff On Japanese Players
Sports · Apr 3, 2025 · 58
Church Installs Ejection Seats To Remove Members Whose Phones Ring During Service - Article image
Church Installs Ejection Seats To Remove Members Whose Phones Ring During Service
Church · Mar 13, 2017 · 11
Democrats Clarify They're OK With A Bloodbath If It's Just From Killing The Unborn - Article image
Democrats Clarify They're OK With A Bloodbath If It's Just From Killing The Unborn
Politics · Mar 18, 2024 · 112
By Popular Demand Costco Now Just Selling Bags Of Rotisserie Chicken Skin - Article image
By Popular Demand Costco Now Just Selling Bags Of Rotisserie Chicken Skin
Lifestyle · Jan 21, 2022 · 82

Premium Content

View All
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 24
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 30
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test

Do you think you can guess the terrorist in this thumbnail? If so, you are a racist. Unconscious bias is a type of systematically deeply integrated so...
New Video - News Media Successfully Avoids Reporting News - Article image
Premium · Mar 10, 2026 · 30
New Video - News Media Successfully Avoids Reporting News

Secret Service interrupts the most handsome President of the United States of America in the world to share some explosive news - unfortunately, it's ...
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader - Article image
Premium · Mar 5, 2026 · 49
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader

The Iranian government has officially announced a successor to Ayatollah Khamenei, introducing today the new Supreme Leader - wait, they have now anno...

Greatest Hits

View All
Greta Thunberg Mural Equipped With Laser Eyes That Shoot At SUVs - Article image
Greta Thunberg Mural Equipped With Laser Eyes That Shoot At SUVs
Politics · Nov 11, 2019 · 10
Biden Campaign Says He Is So Close To A VP Pick He Can Smell Her - Article image
Biden Campaign Says He Is So Close To A VP Pick He Can Smell Her
Politics · Aug 1, 2020 · 124
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship - Article image
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship
Lifestyle · Jun 6, 2017 · 37
CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide - Article image
CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
Politics · Nov 9, 2017 · 82
Trump Says To Drink Lots Of Water, Media Reports He Told Everyone To Drown Themselves - Article image
Trump Says To Drink Lots Of Water, Media Reports He Told Everyone To Drown Themselves
Politics · Apr 24, 2020 · 16
Husband Daycare Now Available At All Hobby Lobby Locations - Article image
Husband Daycare Now Available At All Hobby Lobby Locations
Christian Living · Aug 7, 2019 · 27

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2026 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.