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France Explains They Can't Help Open Strait Of Hormuz As They Already Sent All 15 Of Their Soldiers To Defend Greenland - Article image
World · Mar 21, 2026 · 35
France Explains They Can't Help Open Strait Of Hormuz As They Already Sent All 15 Of Their Soldiers To Defend Greenland

PARIS - French President Emmanuel Macron explained today that the French Army simply could not help open the Strait of Hormuz as all fifteen of its so...

Man Smokes Cigar In Desperate Hope To Feel Sick And Become Unattractive To Wife - Article image
Family · Mar 21, 2026 · 34
Man Smokes Cigar In Desperate Hope To Feel Sick And Become Unattractive To Wife

HOUSTON, TX - Local man Matthew Coggins lit up a cigar this afternoon in a bid to feel terribly nauseous while simultaneously causing his wife to find...

10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris - Article image
Entertainment · Mar 20, 2026 · 82
10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris

Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back ...
Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim
Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim
Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim - Featured article image
Christian Living · Mar 21, 2026 · 20

HEAVEN - After several incidents over the course of his first day in paradise, Chuck Norris was pulled aside by Saint Peter and gently asked to please...

Woman Unable To Distinguish Between Basketball And Hockey About To Smoke Your March Madness Bracket Again - Article image
Sports · Mar 22, 2024 · 66
Woman Unable To Distinguish Between Basketball And Hockey About To Smoke Your March Madness Bracket Again

OTTUMWA, IA - It's that time of year again when avid sports fans spend hours painstakingly making their predictions for the NCAA tournament so that a ...

Sports · Mar 22, 2024 · 66
Woman Unable To Distinguish Between Basketball And Hockey About To Smoke Your March Madness Bracket Again

Woman Unable To Distinguish Between Basketball And Hockey About To Smoke Your March Madness Bracket Again - Featured article image
OTTUMWA, IA - It's that time of year again when avid sports fans spend hours painstakingly making their predictions for the NCAA tournament so that a ...
10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris - Article image
Entertainment · Mar 20, 2026 · 82
10 Ways To Honor Chuck Norris

Action hero and martial arts master Chuck Norris has departed from this world to fight supernatural forces in the place beyond space. As we look back ...

Subscriber Headlines

“Ayatollah For A Day” Raffle Sales Disappointing

Mar 8, 2026 | dscalard


Fulton County Still Counting Ballots For Kim Jong Un

Mar 18, 2026 | Twoplus2isChicken


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Mar 9, 2026 | WilliamRodham

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Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe - Article image
Confirmed: In His Final Days, Charlie Kirk Came To Agree With Whatever You Believe
Worldviews · Mar 20, 2026 · 53
Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet - Article image
Theologians Believe Every Meal In Heaven Is Ice Cream In A Miniature Baseball Helmet
Theology · Mar 20, 2026 · 45
Newsom Allocates $900 Million For Black Bear Porta-Potties - Article image
Newsom Allocates $900 Million For Black Bear Porta-Potties
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Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel' On Every Puzzle - Article image
Tucker Carlson Loses On ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ After Guessing ‘Israel' On Every Puzzle
Entertainment · Mar 19, 2026 · 77
MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun - Article image
MLB Introduces Popular New Rule Where Umps Who Get More Than 3 Calls Overturned Are Jettisoned Into The Sun
Sports · Mar 19, 2026 · 67
Gay Ayatollah Excited After Receiving DM From Cute Guy Jamesmohammed O'Keefibad - Article image
Gay Ayatollah Excited After Receiving DM From Cute Guy Jamesmohammed O'Keefibad
World · Mar 19, 2026 · 39

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'Fear Not!' Says Chuck Norris To Calm Trembling Angels - Article image
Celebs · Mar 20, 2026 · 57
'Fear Not!' Says Chuck Norris To Calm Trembling Angels

HEAVEN - A group of seraphim guarding the gates of Heaven was terrified yesterday by the sudden appearance of legendary martial artist and action star...
Gavin Newsom's 10 Biggest Accomplishments - Article image
Politics · Mar 19, 2026 · 113
Gavin Newsom's 10 Biggest Accomplishments

California owes a lot to Governor Gavin Newsom. So much, in fact, that it's hard to narrow down his long list of accomplishments.
California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects - Article image
Politics · Mar 20, 2026 · 48
California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects

SACRAMENTO, CA - California's $250 billion study looking into why it has so many unfinished projects was abandoned while only half-finished, the gover...
Local Man Likes His Coffee Cold, With Milk, Just Like A Little Baby - Article image
Culture · Mar 20, 2026 · 51
Local Man Likes His Coffee Cold, With Milk, Just Like A Little Baby

SEATTLE, WA - According to sources, local man Richard Stevenson prefers to take his coffee cold and with milk like a little baby.

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8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah - Article image
World · Mar 18, 2026 · 62
8 Coolest Perks Of Becoming The New Ayatollah

The hottest job on the market right now is being the Iranian Ayatollah, but why is everyone suddenly buzzing about it? Here are just eight of the most...
10 Christmas Gift Ideas For Your Leftist Child - Article image
Sponsored · Dec 15, 2021 · 174
10 Christmas Gift Ideas For Your Leftist Child

First off, congratulations on raising a child already versed in progressive ideals! Your Christmas holiday is sure to be filled with joy, laughter, fe...
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build - Article image
U.S. · Mar 19, 2026 · 64
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build

LOS ANGELES, CA - California state and city officials gathered with residents on Thursday to celebrate the opening of a public trash can that cost jus...
9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay - Article image
World · Mar 16, 2026 · 88
9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay

In addition to reports that he was seriously injured in airstrikes at the onset of the U.S.-Iran conflict, new rumors arose this week that the newly c...

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12 Genius Ways For Congress To Pay Off The National Debt - Article image
Sponsored · Oct 5, 2022 · 115
12 Genius Ways For Congress To Pay Off The National Debt

America's national debt just passed $31 trillion for the first time in history. Yikes! Don't worry though, we at The Babylon Bee have a few brilliant ...
Man Criticizing Billy Graham Has Never Preached Gospel One Single Time - Article image
Man Criticizing Billy Graham Has Never Preached Gospel One Single Time
Celebs · Feb 21, 2018 · 5
New Evidence For Atheism Exhibit Just Large Empty Warehouse - Article image
New Evidence For Atheism Exhibit Just Large Empty Warehouse
Theology · Jul 19, 2019 · 8
Newborn Excited To Be Deployed To Syria In 18 Years - Article image
Newborn Excited To Be Deployed To Syria In 18 Years
World · Apr 11, 2018 · 5
Dad Wakes Up From Terrifying Nightmare Where He Gets To The Airport Only 2 Hours Before Flight - Article image
Dad Wakes Up From Terrifying Nightmare Where He Gets To The Airport Only 2 Hours Before Flight
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Zuckerberg Unveils Exciting New Social Media Platform For Government To Censor - Article image
Zuckerberg Unveils Exciting New Social Media Platform For Government To Censor
Tech · Jul 6, 2023 · 136
Finally: Newsom Announces Finished Construction Of High-Speed Rail Between His House And French Laundry - Article image
Finally: Newsom Announces Finished Construction Of High-Speed Rail Between His House And French Laundry
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New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 31
New Video - Which One Is A Terrorist? | Unconscious Bias Test

Do you think you can guess the terrorist in this thumbnail? If so, you are a racist. Unconscious bias is a type of systematically deeply integrated so...
New Video - News Media Successfully Avoids Reporting News - Article image
Premium · Mar 10, 2026 · 30
New Video - News Media Successfully Avoids Reporting News

Secret Service interrupts the most handsome President of the United States of America in the world to share some explosive news - unfortunately, it's ...
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader - Article image
Premium · Mar 5, 2026 · 49
New Video - BREAKING: Iran Announces Their New Supreme Leader

The Iranian government has officially announced a successor to Ayatollah Khamenei, introducing today the new Supreme Leader - wait, they have now anno...

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Bernie Sanders Praises China For Eradicating Poverty By Killing All The Poor People - Article image
Bernie Sanders Praises China For Eradicating Poverty By Killing All The Poor People
Politics · Aug 28, 2019 · 30
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques - Article image
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques
World · Jun 15, 2021 · 144
Least Masculine Society In Human History Decides Masculinity Is A Growing Threat - Article image
Least Masculine Society In Human History Decides Masculinity Is A Growing Threat
Worldviews · Jan 17, 2019 · 56
Everyone Jumps Off Bridge After New Government Order Telling Everyone To Jump Off Bridge - Article image
Everyone Jumps Off Bridge After New Government Order Telling Everyone To Jump Off Bridge
Politics · Apr 3, 2020 · 29
In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible - Article image
In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible
Politics · Jun 3, 2020 · 48
Hillary Clinton Asked To Leave Costco After Repeatedly Accusing Sample Lady Of Being A Russian Asset - Article image
Hillary Clinton Asked To Leave Costco After Repeatedly Accusing Sample Lady Of Being A Russian Asset
Politics · Oct 18, 2019 · 10

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