Life
· May 19, 2026
· 48
Man Cured Of Depression After Doctor Prescribes Millennium Falcon LEGO Set
BROWNSVILLE, NY - According to sources, local man Porter Caldwell was completely cured of his clinical depression, anxiety, and stress-related disorde...
History
· May 19, 2026
· 30
Abigail Adams Starting To Believe Husband Made Up This Whole ‘Continental Congress’ As An Excuse To Hang Out With The Boys
QUINCY, MA - Weary from a major smallpox outbreak in her area, the wife of John Adams claimed she was starting to believe this whole thing about a "Co...
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Tech
· May 18, 2026
· 69
8 Scary Facts About Data Centers
AI uses a lot of power, and it needs massive data centers to support it. That's why, despite data centers having existed for decades, people are sudde...
Politics
· May 18, 2026
· 55
New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate
U.S. - New polling data in an ongoing political race showed a dead heat between the "Make Everything Worse" candidate and the "Fix Everything" candida...
Scripture
· May 18, 2026
· 41
Baal Returns From The Bathroom To Find All His Prophets Dead
MOUNT CARMEL - The demon known as "Baal" returned from a bathroom break only to find all of 450 of his prophets dead.
Lifestyle
· May 18, 2026
· 36
Wife Can't Wait To Get Out There And Be Horrible At Gardening Again
BOISE, ID - With spring in full swing, one local woman expressed excitement at the chance to finally get back outside and be horrible at gardening aga...
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Lifestyle
· May 16, 2026
· 61
Kids Excited To Learn Of Cool Alternative To Vaping Called 'Smoking Cigarettes'
U.S. - Teenagers across the nation are discovering a hip new alternative to vaping, called "smoking cigarettes."
Lifestyle
· May 16, 2026
· 46
Uncultured Philistine Declines To Have Ice Cream Served In Waffle Cone
TUCSON, AZ - Local man Dale Swanson declined to have his double scoops of mint chocolate chip and strawberry ice cream served in a delicious waffle co...
Media
· May 15, 2026
· 73
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible'
NEW YORK, NY - The New York Times, one of the country's most venerated newspapers, announced it was adapting to trying times by changing its longtime ...
Entertainment
· May 15, 2026
· 78
Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time
U.S. - According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time...
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Premium
· May 19, 2026
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom
As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Premium
· May 18, 2026
· 27
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492
Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
Premium
· May 5, 2026
· 47
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition
Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
Premium
· Apr 28, 2026
· 159
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees
Trump created quite a scene today when he showed off the beehive from the White House South Lawn to the visiting king of England. Write your best capt...
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