Life
· May 19, 2026
· 28
Man Cured Of Depression After Doctor Prescribes Millennium Falcon LEGO Set
BROWNSVILLE, NY - According to sources, local man Porter Caldwell was completely cured of his clinical depression, anxiety, and stress-related disorde...
History
· May 19, 2026
· 12
Abigail Adams Starting To Believe Husband Made Up This Whole ‘Continental Congress’ As An Excuse To Hang Out With The Boys
QUINCY, MA - Weary from a major smallpox outbreak in her area, the wife of John Adams claimed she was starting to believe this whole thing about a "Co...
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Scripture
· May 18, 2026
· 40
Baal Returns From The Bathroom To Find All His Prophets Dead
MOUNT CARMEL - The demon known as "Baal" returned from a bathroom break only to find all of 450 of his prophets dead.
World
· May 17, 2026
· 58
London Mayor Confused By Protesters Not Chanting ‘Death To Jews’
LONDON - London Mayor Sadiq Khan was deeply confused by protests over the weekend where no one was shouting "Death To Jews."
Lifestyle
· May 18, 2026
· 33
Wife Can't Wait To Get Out There And Be Horrible At Gardening Again
BOISE, ID - With spring in full swing, one local woman expressed excitement at the chance to finally get back outside and be horrible at gardening aga...
U.S.
· May 18, 2026
· 53
Data Center Built In Theodore Roosevelt's Mustache
KEYSTONE, SD - In a historic victory for American infrastructure, the Department of the Interior announced the successful installation of a 50,000-squ...
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Media
· May 15, 2026
· 72
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible'
NEW YORK, NY - The New York Times, one of the country's most venerated newspapers, announced it was adapting to trying times by changing its longtime ...
Entertainment
· May 15, 2026
· 78
Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time
U.S. - According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time...
Politics
· May 14, 2026
· 63
Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive
BEIJING - President Donald Trump's meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping was going swimmingly until Trump made a crucial (but common) error: gifti...
U.S.
· May 15, 2026
· 39
Report: CIA Raided By CIA
LANGLEY, VA - Rumors swirled throughout the international intelligence community this week after reports surfaced that agents from the Central Intelli...
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Premium
· May 18, 2026
· 26
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492
Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
Premium
· May 5, 2026
· 47
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition
Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
Premium
· Apr 28, 2026
· 159
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees
Trump created quite a scene today when he showed off the beehive from the White House South Lawn to the visiting king of England. Write your best capt...
Premium
· Mar 12, 2026
· 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims
Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...
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