The Babylon Bee
Church
· Sep 24, 2026
· 33
What A Noob! This So-Called 'Pastor' Didn't Even Make Each Sermon Point Start With The Same Letter
OWASSO, OK - It was total amateur hour at First Baptist Church of Owasso as so-called "Pastor" Darren Parsons didn't even make each of his sermon poin...
Theology
· Sep 24, 2026
· 44
Heaven Confirms People Who Line The Dashboards Of Their Jeeps With Little Duckies Will Not Inherit The Kingdom Of God
HEAVEN - A representative of Heaven confirmed on Thursday that people who line the dashboards of their Jeeps with little duckies will not inherit the ...
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Celebs
· Sep 23, 2026
· 89
Ms. Rachel Announces Herbie The Puppet Has Joined Hamas As A Child Soldier
NEW YORK, NY - In a very special new episode of her popular YouTube children's program, content creator Ms. Rachel announced that her beloved sidekick...
Sponsored
· Sep 23, 2026
· 78
10 Amazing Heavenly Rewards You'll Get When People Persecute You For Jesus
The Bible tells us that when you're a Christian, things can get pretty rough - especially in countries other than the United States. Thankfully, there...
Religion
· Sep 22, 2026
· 111
Muslims Say It's Unfair To Judge Their Entire Religion Based On The Actions Of Several Million
WORLD - The international Muslim community issued a collective statement this week explaining that it would be unfair to judge their religion based on...
Health
· Sep 23, 2026
· 53
Canada Clarifies That By 'Assisted Suicide' They Mean 'Totally Unsolicited Murder'
NEW YORK, NY - Speaking at the UN this week, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney clarified their Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) program, explainin...
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Media
· Sep 22, 2026
· 81
'The Babylon Bee' Has Obtained The Fall Lineup For Trump TV
Move over, legacy media! The White House has officially unveiled the all-new TRUMP TV channel, featuring an incredible slate of original programming f...
Media
· Sep 21, 2026
· 62
CNN Sues Trump For Violating Its First Amendment Right To Fabricate News
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In the latest wave of legal turmoil enveloping the nation's capital, cable network CNN sued the Trump administration for allegedly ...
World
· Sep 22, 2026
· 66
Anton Chigurh Lands New Job Performing Assisted Suicides In Canada
OTTAWA - Famed hitman and coin-flipping enthusiast Anton Chigurh announced this week that he had been hired by the Canadian government to help out wit...
Scripture
· Sep 21, 2026
· 97
Noah's Wife Again Catches Him Trying To Huck The Cats Overboard
EARTH - Noah's wife came up topside on the ark this morning to dry out laundry, only to catch Noah once again trying to huck the cats overboard.
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Premium
· Sep 24, 2026
· 44
Rejected Headlines From The Funny Farm
Every Babylon Bee headline is grown 100% organic and non-GMO on our 100-acre satire farm with no pesticides, from our seed to your table. But, even wi...
Premium
· Sep 22, 2026
· 45
Bonus List: 10 Exciting Games Coming To Trump's New Arcade Site
The White House has officially launched its own video game site, where users can play several classic games like Tetris and Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!. ...
Premium
· Sep 11, 2026
· 111
25 Years Later...
Today is an emotional day for a lot of us. It marks the anniversary of the day the largest terrorist attack on American soil was carried out, taking t...
Premium
· Sep 7, 2026
· 92
Happy Labor Day 2026!
Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
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