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Man Paying $5 A Gallon For Gas Sure Glad He Stuck It To Elon Musk By Getting Rid Of His Tesla - Article image
Economy · Sep 11, 2026 · 29
Man Paying $5 A Gallon For Gas Sure Glad He Stuck It To Elon Musk By Getting Rid Of His Tesla

REDMOND, WA - According to sources, a local man who paid over $5 a gallon for gas was sure glad he stuck it to Elon Musk by getting rid of his Tesla.

Life Hack: Avoid Leaving Your Wallet At Home By Sitting It Next To Your Katana - Article image
Life · Sep 11, 2026 · 27
Life Hack: Avoid Leaving Your Wallet At Home By Sitting It Next To Your Katana

Don't you just hate it when you're out buying Pokémon cards, only to discover that you left your wallet at home? Well, with an exciting new life hack,...

White Women Argue Black Men Should Only Have Three-Fifths Of A Jury Vote - Article image
U.S. · Sep 11, 2026 · 38
White Women Argue Black Men Should Only Have Three-Fifths Of A Jury Vote

U.S. - As the aftermath of the Lindsay Clancy mistrial continued to reverberate across the country, one member of the jury confirmed that white women ...
Mamdani Lays Wreath At Tomb Of The Unknown Hijacker
Mamdani Lays Wreath At Tomb Of The Unknown Hijacker
Mamdani Lays Wreath At Tomb Of The Unknown Hijacker - Featured article image
Politics · Sep 11, 2026 · 28

NEW YORK, NY - In a somber ceremony Friday morning, Mayor Zohram Mamdani laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Hijacker in remembrance of the 25th ...

Man Waking Up From Year-Long Coma Excited To See How Unified And Virtuous The Right Became In Wake Of Charlie Kirk’s Death - Article image
U.S. · Sep 11, 2026 · 18
Man Waking Up From Year-Long Coma Excited To See How Unified And Virtuous The Right Became In Wake Of Charlie Kirk’s Death

ROANOKE, VA - A man awoke from a year-long coma this morning, then eagerly checked his phone to see how unified and virtuous the American political ri...

U.S. · Sep 11, 2026 · 18
Man Waking Up From Year-Long Coma Excited To See How Unified And Virtuous The Right Became In Wake Of Charlie Kirk’s Death

Man Waking Up From Year-Long Coma Excited To See How Unified And Virtuous The Right Became In Wake Of Charlie Kirk’s Death - Featured article image
ROANOKE, VA - A man awoke from a year-long coma this morning, then eagerly checked his phone to see how unified and virtuous the American political ri...
White Women Argue Black Men Should Only Have Three-Fifths Of A Jury Vote - Article image
U.S. · Sep 11, 2026 · 38
White Women Argue Black Men Should Only Have Three-Fifths Of A Jury Vote

U.S. - As the aftermath of the Lindsay Clancy mistrial continued to reverberate across the country, one member of the jury confirmed that white women ...

Subscriber Headlines

Life Hack: Man Names New Dog ‘vop-3Zeq-nuv’ So He Can Remember His Password

Sep 8, 2026 | T e e j


Democrats Promise $5,000 More In Taxes Per American If They Win The Midterms

Sep 10, 2026 | Jesus defeated death so you can live


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Nation Forgot - Article image
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Moses Threatens Pharaoh With Plague Of Unskippable YouTube Ads - Article image
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Nation Reconsidering Trial By Jury Of Peers After Discovering That Our Peers Are All Dummies - Article image
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Trump Pledges That If Voters Defeat Socialism In November, They Will Each Get An Equal Redistribution Of Wealth From The Government - Article image
Politics · Sep 10, 2026 · 58
Trump Pledges That If Voters Defeat Socialism In November, They Will Each Get An Equal Redistribution Of Wealth From The Government

DALLAS, TX - In his keynote speech at the 2026 RNC Midterm Convention, President Donald Trump pledged that if voters defeat socialism in November, the...
The Babylon Bee Interviews The Lindsay Clancy Jury - Article image
Crime · Sep 9, 2026 · 95
The Babylon Bee Interviews The Lindsay Clancy Jury

With millions of Americans struggling to understand how the Lindsay Clancy jury came within a hair's breadth of finding the self-confessed murderer "n...
'Oh, Your Intelligent Creations Are Trying To Kill You? That's Interesting,' Says Jesus - Article image
Theology · Sep 9, 2026 · 75
'Oh, Your Intelligent Creations Are Trying To Kill You? That's Interesting,' Says Jesus

PALO ALTO, CA - As tech giants continue to bicker back and forth about the dangers of A.I. becoming powerful enough to kill all humanity, Silicon Vall...
9 Rejected 'VeggieTales' Episodes - Article image
Sponsored · Sep 9, 2026 · 65
9 Rejected 'VeggieTales' Episodes

There have been over 150 episodes of the beloved children's cartoon VeggieTales across all its iterations, but not every idea the writers had made it ...

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Mamdani: Women Attending 9/11  Memorial Will Be Required To Wear Hijab - Article image
Politics · Sep 10, 2026 · 65
Mamdani: Women Attending 9/11 Memorial Will Be Required To Wear Hijab

NEW YORK, NY - Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced this week that all women attending tomorrow's 9/11 memorial will be required to wear a hijab.
Holdout Juror Accused Of Getting Hung Up On Fact That Defendant Committed Crime - Article image
Crime · Sep 9, 2026 · 75
Holdout Juror Accused Of Getting Hung Up On Fact That Defendant Committed Crime

PLYMOUTH, MA - In the wake of Lindsay Clancy's murder case ending in a mistrial, several jurors have publicly accused the lone holdout juror of being ...
GOP Heads To Dallas For Advice From Cowboys On Blowing It In November - Article image
Politics · Sep 9, 2026 · 60
GOP Heads To Dallas For Advice From Cowboys On Blowing It In November

DALLAS, TX - With the pivotal midterm elections less than two months away, the nation's most prominent members of the Republican Party prepared to gat...
Experts Warn Data Centers Could Soon Take Up All Abandoned Fields That Millennials Use For Family Photos - Article image
Tech · Sep 10, 2026 · 34
Experts Warn Data Centers Could Soon Take Up All Abandoned Fields That Millennials Use For Family Photos

DRAPER, UT - Experts issued a new warning this week that the construction of massive data centers could soon take up all the abandoned fields millenni...

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Divorcing Couple In Heated Custody Battle Over Preferred Church Pew - Article image
Christian Living · Jan 12, 2022 · 70
Divorcing Couple In Heated Custody Battle Over Preferred Church Pew

SAVANNAH, GA - A husband and wife in the midst of a divorce are currently embroiled in a custody battle over their preferred church pew. The once-happ...
Antifa Throwing Bricks, Molotov Cocktails At Nation's Eagles Due To Association With Nazi Party - Article image
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Democrats Announce State Of The Union Response Will Be Delivered By Bad Bunny - Article image
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German Health Minister: 'We Must Take Large Groups Of Unvaccinated And Concentrate Them Into Special Camps' - Article image
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Palestine Protester Tries To Argue With Skinhead But They Just Agree On Everything - Article image
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CNN Hires Trump As News Anchor To Recover Lost Viewers - Article image
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Happy Labor Day 2026! - Article image
Premium · Sep 7, 2026 · 91
Happy Labor Day 2026!

Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project - Article image
Premium · Aug 31, 2026 · 74
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project

Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed - Article image
Premium · Aug 27, 2026 · 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed

The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines - Article image
Premium · Aug 24, 2026 · 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines

Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...

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Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is - Article image
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Female Weightlifter Suffers Tragic Testicle Injury Just Weeks Before Tokyo Olympics
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Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques
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Report: Internet Users Who Call For Attacking Other Countries Will Now Be Enlisted In The Military Automatically - Article image
Report: Internet Users Who Call For Attacking Other Countries Will Now Be Enlisted In The Military Automatically
Politics · Jun 21, 2019 · 25

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