The Babylon Bee
U.S.
· Sep 16, 2026
· 41
U.S. Space Weapon Revealed To Be Little Triangle That Shoots Bullets Out The Front
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to sources, the on-orbit space control weapon revealed on Monday by U.S. military officials was apparently a little trian...
Christian Living
· Sep 16, 2026
· 67
Christian Misses Good Old Days When All The Obscene Smut Out There Was Heterosexual
SAN ANGELO, TX - During a recent prayer group meeting at New Covenant Church, local man Steve Farmer expressed longing for the good old days when all ...
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Celebs
· Sep 15, 2026
· 47
Sydney Sweeney Tries To Gain Support Of Liberal Women By Murdering Multiple Children
LOS ANGELES, CA - Scandal struck Hollywood this week, as actress and businesswoman Sydney Sweeney attempted to gain support among liberal women by mur...
Sponsored
· Sep 15, 2026
· 83
10 Ways To Entertain Your Toddler
Raising a toddler can be a challenge, but entertaining your toddler can be even more difficult. It's not uncommon for parents to run out of ideas for ...
Politics
· Sep 15, 2026
· 55
Mitch McConnell Returns To Senate As Force Ghost
WASHINGTON, D.C. - One of the mainstays of America's legislative branch was once again seen roaming the corridors of the U.S. Capitol building, as Mit...
Culture
· Sep 16, 2026
· 48
Man Knows He's Finally Made It After Getting 2nd Fridge Just For Drinks In The Garage
RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA - Local man Jim Crest leaned his back against the wall and marveled at the second fridge in his garage, realizing for the first t...
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Climate
· Sep 14, 2026
· 77
Climate Activists Blame Global Warming For Zero Hurricanes Forming In Atlantic This Year
U.S. - Climate activists sounded the alarm this week, warning that global warming was to blame for zero hurricanes forming in the Atlantic Ocean this ...
Church
· Sep 14, 2026
· 45
Genius: Man Commits Crime To Fail Background Check And Get Out Of Serving In Children's Ministry
KANSAS CITY, MO - After being notified that he was on a list of members needing to submit updated checks for criminal records to remain eligible to wo...
Tech
· Sep 14, 2026
· 65
Anthropic Boasts They Will Kill Off Humanity Way Before OpenAI
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - AI startup Anthropic held a press conference on Monday to proudly announce that its models would bring about the total extinction ...
Health
· Sep 14, 2026
· 53
Report: Wolverine Developed Healing Factor To Survive Canadian Healthcare System
WESTCHESTER COUNTY, NY - As authorities continued to gather information about the rogue band of superpowered individuals known as the X-Men, a new rep...
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Premium
· Sep 11, 2026
· 101
25 Years Later...
Today is an emotional day for a lot of us. It marks the anniversary of the day the largest terrorist attack on American soil was carried out, taking t...
Premium
· Sep 7, 2026
· 92
Happy Labor Day 2026!
Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
Premium
· Aug 31, 2026
· 75
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Premium
· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
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