The Babylon Bee
Sports
· Oct 27, 2026
· 15
After Scheduling Conflict, WNBA Finals Relocated To Church Fellowship Hall
ATLANTA, GA - Due to yet another scheduling conflict, Game 6 of the WNBA Finals has been relocated to a local church fellowship hall.
Family
· Oct 27, 2026
· 16
PSA: Reese's Pumpkins Have Been Discovered To Contain Dangerous Poison So Please Give Them All To Dad For Safekeeping
EMERGENCY ALERT:
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World
· Oct 26, 2026
· 91
After Late-Night Ballot Drop, Joe Biden Wins Brazilian Presidency With 81 Million Votes
BRASILIA - After a late-night ballot dump and several emergency court rulings, Joe Biden was declared the surprise winner of Brazil's presidential ele...
World
· Oct 26, 2026
· 51
Riots Fizzle Out As French Refuse To Protest More Than 32 Hours Per Week
PARIS - Fiery riots across the country ended suddenly on Saturday when participants refused to protest more than 32 hours in a given week.
Sports
· Oct 26, 2026
· 49
Cowboys Fans Concerned Another Loss Could Make It Difficult For Team To Choke In Playoffs
ARLINGTON, TX - Cowboys fans expressed growing concern this week that another regular-season loss could jeopardize the team's opportunity to suffer a ...
Scripture
· Oct 26, 2026
· 60
Pharaoh Relents After Moses Unleashes Plague Of Political Fundraising Texts
PI-RAMESSES - Mighty Pharaoh (may he live forever) has reportedly released the Hebrews from their bondage after the land was afflicted by a plague of ...
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Culture
· Oct 24, 2026
· 98
LGBTQ+ To Add 'S' For Sibling
NEW YORK, NY - LGBTQ+ has just gotten a little more inclusive with the addition of an "S" for "Sibling."
Life
· Oct 22, 2026
· 69
Not Sure If You Married Your Brother? 9 Signs To Look For
With Representative Ilhan Omar seemingly unsure about whether she accidentally married her brother, millions of women have been left asking themselves...
Sports
· Oct 23, 2026
· 69
NFL To Paint 'Allahu Akbar' In Endzone For Game In Paris
PARIS - To accommodate modern French sensibilities, the NFL has announced that their first ever game to take place in Paris will include special endzo...
Crime
· Oct 23, 2026
· 80
'You Will Always Remember The Day You Almost Caught Ilhan Omar!' Shouts Representative Jumping Aboard Somali Pirate Ship
DULUTH, MN - Congresswoman Ilhan Omar narrowly evaded capture by authorities on Thursday as she was seen escaping aboard a Somali pirate ship docked i...
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Premium
· Oct 26, 2026
· 40
Are These Fit For The Funny Pages? Rejected Headlines | October 26, 2026
The Babylon Bee is dedicated to bringing you only the best headlines money can buy. Our writers constantly bring us their ideas and while some of them...
Premium
· Oct 23, 2026
· 23
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | October 23, 2026
Welcome to the Bee's Weekly Roundup! We're here to catch you up on the biggest stories of the past week - and to save our dear readers from the dreadf...
Premium
· Oct 22, 2026
· 94
Open Discussion Thread: Gerwig's Narnia
A few days have passed since the psychedelic, rock-riff blasting trailer of Greta Gerwig's $250 million retelling of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew dro...
Premium
· Oct 21, 2026
· 54
NEWS DESK: New Poll Shows Voters Frustrated By Gas Prices Willing To Start Castrating Kids Again
This Babylon Bee News Desk is an exclusive video for our subscribers. Enjoy!
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