The Babylon Bee
Church
· Sep 25, 2026
· 76
Man Once Again Loses Train Of Thought During Prayer And Starts Thinking About How He’d Defend The Church From Muslim Terrorists
AMARILLO, TX - During the opening prayer of a Wednesday evening church service, local man Adrien Herald once again lost his train of thought as he beg...
Politics
· Sep 26, 2026
· 80
National Election Swayed As Beverly From Nebraska Puts Political Sign In Yard
KEARNEY, NE - The tide turned this morning in the upcoming national midterm elections after Beverly Franks from Nebraska put a political sign in her f...
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Buzzing
U.S.
· Sep 24, 2026
· 131
Top 10 Reasons To Move To Washington State
While the Evergreen State is most famous as the setting for the hit NBC sitcom Frasier, actual people live there, too. Could you be the next one to ca...
The Babylon Bee
· Sep 24, 2026
· 121
'The Babylon Bee' Hires Stanford University To Take New Staff Photo
U.S. - The Babylon Bee is excited to publicly release our first official staff photo in five years, with a huge thanks to the expert visual media team...
Christian Living
· Sep 25, 2026
· 41
Dad (Man Cold) Listed As Questionable For Sunday
FRANKLIN, TN - Local husband and father Greg Hartley, who came down with a case of the sniffles earlier this week, was officially listed as "questiona...
Christian Living
· Sep 25, 2026
· 64
Wife Swoons As Husband Recites Song Of Solomon Verse Comparing Her To A Horse
REDDING, CA - Sources revealed that Georgia Mendlerot was over the moon on Friday after her husband recited a verse from Song of Solomon comparing her...
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Sponsored
· Sep 23, 2026
· 99
10 Amazing Heavenly Rewards You'll Get When People Persecute You For Jesus
The Bible tells us that when you're a Christian, things can get pretty rough - especially in countries other than the United States. Thankfully, there...
Celebs
· Sep 23, 2026
· 92
Ms. Rachel Announces Herbie The Puppet Has Joined Hamas As A Child Soldier
NEW YORK, NY - In a very special new episode of her popular YouTube children's program, content creator Ms. Rachel announced that her beloved sidekick...
Politics
· Sep 24, 2026
· 85
Trump Prepares For Dinner With President Xi By Ordering Servants To Slaughter The Fattened Cat
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In preparation for an historic dinner with Chinese President Xi Jinping, President Donald Trump ordered White House kitchen staff t...
Family
· Sep 24, 2026
· 59
Toddler Says He Definitely Does Not Need To Potty — Update: TODDLER NEEDS TO POTTY RIGHT NOW
GRAPEVINE, TX - Local toddler Harlan Carter confidently insisted to his mother that he absolutely did not need to go potty before getting in the car f...
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Premium Content
Premium
· Sep 27, 2026
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup
Welcome to the Bee's Weekly Roundup! We're here to catch you up on the biggest stories of the past week -- and to save our dear readers from the dread...
Premium
· Sep 24, 2026
· 71
Rejected Headlines From The Funny Farm
Every Babylon Bee headline is grown 100% organic and non-GMO on our 100-acre satire farm with no pesticides, from our seed to your table. But, even wi...
Premium
· Sep 22, 2026
· 49
Bonus List: 10 Exciting Games Coming To Trump's New Arcade Site
The White House has officially launched its own video game site, where users can play several classic games like Tetris and Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!. ...
Premium
· Sep 11, 2026
· 111
25 Years Later...
Today is an emotional day for a lot of us. It marks the anniversary of the day the largest terrorist attack on American soil was carried out, taking t...
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