Babylon Bee logo Babylon Bee logo
News Videos Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Videos
Newsletter
Shop Search
Babylon Bee Babylon Bee
News Videos Shop
Newsletter
Search
Join
Join
Login
News Trending
Newsletter
Shop Search
Skip to main content
Report: White People Completely Unaffected By Jalapeño Recall - Article image
Life · Aug 10, 2026 · 45
Report: White People Completely Unaffected By Jalapeño Recall

U.S. - A new report confirmed that white people remained totally unaffected after a massive recall was issued across the U.S. for contaminated jalapeñ...

Cute: 5-Year-Old White Girl Dreams Of One Day Getting Beaten Up In The WNBA - Article image
Sports · Aug 10, 2026 · 29
Cute: 5-Year-Old White Girl Dreams Of One Day Getting Beaten Up In The WNBA

TERRE HAUTE, IN - In a wholesome display of innocence, a five-year-old white girl reportedly told her parents how she dreamed of one day growing up to...

Unscriptural Hymn Unfortunately A Banger - Article image
Church · Aug 10, 2026 · 29
Unscriptural Hymn Unfortunately A Banger

IRVINE, CA - The elders of the United Reformed Church of Irvine made the devastating discovery Sunday that an unscriptural hymn, entirely inappropriat...
Inspired By AOC, James Talarico Also Elects To Have His Eggs Frozen
Inspired By AOC, James Talarico Also Elects To Have His Eggs Frozen
Inspired By AOC, James Talarico Also Elects To Have His Eggs Frozen - Featured article image
Politics · Aug 10, 2026 · 48

AUSTIN, TX - Senate candidate James Talarico announced on Monday morning that he would be following in the inspiring footsteps of Representative Alexa...

40-Year-Old Man Still Chasing High Of Seeing Cards Bounce Around Screen After Winning Solitaire - Article image
Life · Aug 10, 2026 · 51
40-Year-Old Man Still Chasing High Of Seeing Cards Bounce Around Screen After Winning Solitaire

PLAINVIEW, TX - Local 40-year-old man Ben Gantry admitted that he had spent the past three decades chasing the high he first felt while seeing the car...

Life · Aug 10, 2026 · 51
40-Year-Old Man Still Chasing High Of Seeing Cards Bounce Around Screen After Winning Solitaire

40-Year-Old Man Still Chasing High Of Seeing Cards Bounce Around Screen After Winning Solitaire - Featured article image
PLAINVIEW, TX - Local 40-year-old man Ben Gantry admitted that he had spent the past three decades chasing the high he first felt while seeing the car...
Unscriptural Hymn Unfortunately A Banger - Article image
Church · Aug 10, 2026 · 29
Unscriptural Hymn Unfortunately A Banger

IRVINE, CA - The elders of the United Reformed Church of Irvine made the devastating discovery Sunday that an unscriptural hymn, entirely inappropriat...

Subscriber Headlines

Doctors Now Prescribing One Bag Of Taylor Farms Lettuce As Colonoscopy Prep

Aug 4, 2026 | RuthieJ714


Family Saves 30% On Food Costs By Skipping Dinner

Aug 6, 2026 | Jesus defeated death so you can live


Young George Washington Admits To Cutting Down A Flock Camera

Aug 6, 2026 | The Bat Knight

Visit Forum


Latest

View All
Man Exhausted After Long Day Of Typing Stuff Into ChatGPT - Article image
Man Exhausted After Long Day Of Typing Stuff Into ChatGPT
Tech · Aug 10, 2026 · 23
Scientists Hard At Work Making IPhone Weather App Even Less Accurate - Article image
Scientists Hard At Work Making IPhone Weather App Even Less Accurate
Tech · Aug 10, 2026 · 38
Angel Still Guarding Eden With Flaming Sword Wondering If He Can Move Yet - Article image
Angel Still Guarding Eden With Flaming Sword Wondering If He Can Move Yet
Scripture · Aug 7, 2026 · 92
Study Confirms Humanity Groaning With Longing For More 'Animaniacs' - Article image
Study Confirms Humanity Groaning With Longing For More 'Animaniacs'
Life · Aug 7, 2026 · 54
Jesus Ignites Fierce Debate By Feeding 5,000 People For Under $20 - Article image
Jesus Ignites Fierce Debate By Feeding 5,000 People For Under $20
Scripture · Aug 7, 2026 · 73
'There Aren't Bad Pets, Only Bad Owners,' Explains Woman Out Walking Velociraptor - Article image
'There Aren't Bad Pets, Only Bad Owners,' Explains Woman Out Walking Velociraptor
Lifestyle · Aug 7, 2026 · 67

Buzzing

View All
Top 10 Reasons To Move To California - Article image
Life · Aug 8, 2026 · 137
Top 10 Reasons To Move To California

With the population of California diminishing of late, we at The Babylon Bee are here to help turn the tide. Here are just ten of the many great reaso...
Bigotry Rears Ugly Head As WNBA Refuses To Allow This Stunning, Beautiful Woman Into League - Article image
Sports · Aug 9, 2026 · 94
Bigotry Rears Ugly Head As WNBA Refuses To Allow This Stunning, Beautiful Woman Into League

U.S. - In a disgusting act of appalling bigotry, the WNBA is refusing to allow a stunning, beautiful woman into the league on the grounds that she is ...
Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her - Article image
Life · Aug 8, 2026 · 104
Teenage Cashier Desperately Hoping Middle-Aged Man Will Start Up Small Talk With Her

ROANOKE, VA - Upon seeing a middle-aged man join her line, local 16-year-old grocery cashier Mandy Banks began desperately hoping that he would try to...
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around - Article image
Politics · Aug 7, 2026 · 76
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Staff for Mitch McConnell assured the nation that the Kentucky senator had been dropped off at a nice farm in the country where he ...

Must Read

Man Unsure Whether Wife's Vanilla Honey Goat Butter Spread Is For Toast Or Face - Article image
Life · Aug 7, 2026 · 62
Man Unsure Whether Wife's Vanilla Honey Goat Butter Spread Is For Toast Or Face

DALLAS, TX - Local husband Mark Higgins stood frozen in his kitchen Thursday morning, staring blankly at a glass jar labeled "Vanilla Honey Goat Butte...
7 Hacks To Obtain A Burrito For Less Than $20 - Article image
Economy · Aug 6, 2026 · 103
7 Hacks To Obtain A Burrito For Less Than $20

Burritos are really, really expensive these days, apparently. But fear not - there are still ways to get them without having to shell out $20 a pop. Y...
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids - Article image
Family · May 19, 2026 · 59
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids

OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
Trump Meets With Zelenskyy To Ask For U.S. Missiles - Article image
World · Aug 7, 2026 · 65
Trump Meets With Zelenskyy To Ask For U.S. Missiles

KYIV - President Donald Trump scheduled an emergency trip to Ukraine to ask President Zelenskyy for American missiles.

Don't Miss

Denis Villeneuve Scrambles To Read Second Half Of 'Dune' - Article image
Entertainment · Oct 27, 2021 · 112
Denis Villeneuve Scrambles To Read Second Half Of 'Dune'

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Dune director Denis Villeneuve has received alarming news: Legendary Pictures greenlit Dune: Part Two. Unfortunately, now that means V...
Calvary Chapel Pastor Late For Church After He Can't Find His Dress Sandals - Article image
Calvary Chapel Pastor Late For Church After He Can't Find His Dress Sandals
Church · Feb 10, 2021 · 61
10 Theses From Martin Luther That Didn't Quite Make The Cut - Article image
10 Theses From Martin Luther That Didn't Quite Make The Cut
Sponsored · Aug 15, 2023 · 202
Fauci Dons Funny Hat, Declares Himself To Be Pope Of Science - Article image
Fauci Dons Funny Hat, Declares Himself To Be Pope Of Science
Health · Nov 29, 2021 · 167
Lioness Who Killed, Ate Own Cubs Hired As Planned Parenthood Mascot - Article image
Lioness Who Killed, Ate Own Cubs Hired As Planned Parenthood Mascot
Worldviews · Aug 12, 2019 · 8
Evangelical Prophets Clarify That Trump’s Second Term Will Be Spiritual, Not Literal - Article image
Evangelical Prophets Clarify That Trump’s Second Term Will Be Spiritual, Not Literal
Church · Jan 18, 2021 · 49
Progressive Christians Warn Of Christian Politician Who Actually Believes Christian Things - Article image
Progressive Christians Warn Of Christian Politician Who Actually Believes Christian Things
Politics · Nov 6, 2023 · 141

Premium Content

View All
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition - Article image
Premium · Jun 15, 2026 · 72
How Was Church? June 15, 2026 Edition

Sunday is the best day of the week. The coffee tastes a little bit better when enjoyed with the people of the Lord. How was church for you yesterday? ...
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring? - Article image
Premium · May 25, 2026 · 40
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?

Hey, Bee family!
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom - Article image
Premium · May 19, 2026 · 96
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom

As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492 - Article image
Premium · May 18, 2026 · 33
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492

Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...

Greatest Hits

View All
Wives: 13 Subtle Signs Your Husband Is 'In The Mood' - Article image
Wives: 13 Subtle Signs Your Husband Is 'In The Mood'
Life · Aug 15, 2024 · 163
Starbucks Unveils New Satanic Holiday Cups - Article image
Starbucks Unveils New Satanic Holiday Cups
U.S. · Nov 3, 2016 · 16
Democrats Hiss In Terror As ACB Pulls Out Crucifix - Article image
Democrats Hiss In Terror As ACB Pulls Out Crucifix
Christian Living · Oct 12, 2020 · 87
Trump Sneaks Back On Twitter By Disguising Self As PR Rep For Chinese Communist Party - Article image
Trump Sneaks Back On Twitter By Disguising Self As PR Rep For Chinese Communist Party
Politics · Jan 8, 2021 · 92
Least Masculine Society In Human History Decides Masculinity Is A Growing Threat - Article image
Least Masculine Society In Human History Decides Masculinity Is A Growing Threat
Worldviews · Jan 17, 2019 · 56
Millennial Diagnosed With Tragic Inability To Even - Article image
Millennial Diagnosed With Tragic Inability To Even
Health · Sep 30, 2016 · 12

All News

Support

  • Contact
  • About
  • Terms
  • Privacy
  • Donate

Our Sites

  • The Babylon Bee
  • Not the Bee

Socials

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • X (Twitter)

Other Links

  • YouTube
  • RSS
Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube RSS

© 2026 Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.