Things were pretty good in the Garden of Eden, but then Adam and Eve had to ruin it by eating from the one tree God explicitly told them not to touch. Ugh! Now sin has entered the world and man has fallen from grace — and we didn't even get to try any of that fruit!
Lame!
Here are the worst effects of the fall:
- Awkward handshakes: This can be directly traced to a lack of self-confidence as a result of the fall.
- Men being unable to find objects in the fridge: The butter has been in the same spot for thirty years!
- Women don't walk around naked anymore: Sad. And now you have to set aside money for Nordstrom.
- Your wife being mad at you one week a month: What is she mad about this time? Oh yeah--nothing.
- Pugs: Why are there pugs? That's right. The curse of sin.
- DIY Plumbing: Adam never had to unclog a toilet in his kid's bathroom at 11 pm.
- Women require seventy-eight types of shampoo while men require one: Unfortunate, but fair.
- Going into a room and forgetting why you went in there: This never happened in Eden! They didn't even have rooms!
- Pumpkin spice everything: Whoops! Wrong fall.
- Keeping track of all these different falls: Writing is hard.
- Women are unable to stop thinking about everything while men are unable to think about anything: What kind of a sick joke is this?
- Souplantation going out of business: Why does God allow bad things to happen?
- Death: Major bummer.
Wow! Sure seems like sin has cost us everything: death and a mountain of inconvenience.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
