BOSTON, MA — This week, historians from the Graham Society announced that they can now confirm the authenticity of recently-discovered documentation revealing the contents of the inventor's second-ever completed phone call: an inbound robocall asking him about his car's extended warranty.
"What is the meaning of this abomination? What infernal forces have infiltrated my prototype??" Historians shared redacted quotes from Graham's now-authenticated personal journal recalling the second-ever phone call on his brand-new invention, in which a confused Graham grew frustrated with a robodialer asking him about his car's extended warranty.
"What is a car? And why is there a warrant out for me??"
The gathered scholars have also published their findings of Graham's recounting the constant harassment he began receiving via phone within the days and weeks after inventing the first-ever working telephone.
According to their analysis, nearly 90% of the inventor's inbound phone traffic was hotel scams, fake offers of government grants, and demands for large sums of money delivered in Wal-Mart gift cards as soon as 3 weeks after the only working prototype device was invented.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
